Nora Keyes

May 4, 1999

Dearest Mr. Prinkwater,

It has been a number of years since I wrote you about my little bird, Zero. You returned my E-mail almost immediately; I was very flattered and most grateful. I am writing you again from a friend’s computer, since I posses very little technology, only a record player and a Volvo, not even a phone. He has promised to relay any kind of response you may send. I have picked this time to communicate with you because for the last four and a half years I have been involved in a musical and art project in my home town, that does not exist, Los Angeles. We have just completed our third album. It is our most monumental work so far. I wrote and illustrated an entire story about pets of the future that comes with the CD. You are my biggest influence. I have been obsessed with your books since I first checked out “Lizard Music” from the library when I was in fourth grade.. I still have that book I checked out in 1984. I could never bare to part with it. I would really like to mail you my CD. Your books influenced my youth. The music and art I am producing has links to you. Please tell me how I can mail you my stuff. I thanked you in the credits.

Nora Keyes

P.S. My first E-mail was signed Elnora Fedora, in case of any kind of confusion. My band is called the Centimeters.

Ryan H

May 3, 1999

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

I am nine years old and in the fourth grade. I am working on an independent study project and have chosen you as my topic. I’ve been searching the web for information on you. Could you be more specific where you live, new books you’re currently writing and when you think they will be available?

P.S.-I’ve been reading your books since first grade and am your biggest fan!

Ryan H.

Amoosehunt

May 3, 1999

Hi, Mr. Pinkwater, it’s me again. I changed my name from Charles the Cat to ineffable f because Wallace McGee kept bugging me about how it was “stolen” from your novel. Anyway, I’m writing to ask your help. You see, there’s a lot of tension within our branch of the Wild Dada Ducks, on account of the troubles in Kosovo, and the disintegration of the universe, and… aw, who am I kidding, I really want to ask for advice concerning a girl. Her name is Shakespeare’s Fifth Sonata, and I’m very attracted to her. I asked her if she’d marry me, and she said for me to look her up in ten years. Now she won’t talk to me. What should I do?

Jeremy Cutler

May 3, 1999

Greetings Mr. Pinkwater. We are from Mr. Cutler’s 5th grade reading class. We just finished reading The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death and we loved it! It was the best book we read this year. Now we have a predicament, however. We are looking for a play to read and perform that is not tremendously long, difficult, or serious, and we have found NO GOOD DRAMA for kids in any library, bookstore, or web site. Can you recommend any scripts or screenplays to us in the Pinkwater genre? (Somebody said there was a good play of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but that might be too long and we haven’t been able to find it anyway.)

Thanks for your help!

-Mr. Cutler’s 5th grade reading class.

Alexandra Reed

May 2, 1999

Hello Mr Pinkwater,

It’s the evening of Sunday May 2nd. My 4 and a half yr old daughter loves hearing your Chinwag Theater programs with me. Today it was the story about the wizard who turned into a frog so he could be happy for ever. My daughter, Catesby, really took this to heart and rushed to find a plastic bead from some broken necklace which she invested with the honor of providing the well-spring of all our happiness. WE are now to clean and care for this bead to ensure our ongoing good fortune.

Thanks for the positive influence you are exerting on the life of our family.

Kind regards

Alexandra Reed

Molly Jordan

May 1, 1999

Dear Mr… Pinkwater,

I have read you books Borgel which is the first one I read and is my favorite. I named my lizard after it. I have also read Slaves of Spiegel(Is that how you spell Spiegel?) and Alan Mendolshon, Boy from Mars. I think you are a funny Author. My teacher thinks you are a crazy one.

Is it true you are coming to Maine? I live in Maine. How many books have you written?

Do you have any pets? one more thing. Where do you get your ideas????

Sincerely,

Molly Jordan.

Matthew West

May 1, 1999

Hello there,sir!

So I just finished reading the response regarding xlibris.com, and went to check it out. I may have friends who could use this! my question for you is this: to what extent are you exploring this? And also this, I guess: What books might find themselves available through this source? and possibly this: how long does that stuff take to do? I just recieved my first shipment from amazon today–four of your books! I read Ned Feldman for the first time, and am starting on Robert Nifkin. Wonderful. Daniel, I am rolling. And, when can we expect FAT CAMP COMMANDOS? The coffee shop in question is really easy to get to. Just take highway 64 west out of West Memphis. When you get to Bald Knob, take 67 south to Searcy. Take the first exit onto Race Street and follow west until you reach Midnight Oil Coffeehouse. Make sure to bring some suntan lotion as your neck will tend to redden. Is redden a word?

Erica H.

May 1, 1999

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

I am an author and poet, and have been since I was four (I’m seventeen now.) Your books have always inspired me. Okay, the nice part’s over. I’m not going to insult your cigar (although I do disapprove of it) but I am going to question your generalization that kids shouldn’t write rhyming poetry. As evidence I submit The Ballad of Noah’s Ark and the Fishes, which I wrote as a high school freshman:

The Whales and the Dolphins, the Stingrays and Sharks
Were quite unconcerned with the building of Arks.
When the Heavens declared that the flood-rains would fall,
They counter-declared, “We aren’t bothered at all!”
A Camel walked into the Ark, then another,
And two Flying Squirrels who hated each other
(But later were forced into matrimony
Whilst Sea Turtles smirked up at them from the Sea.)
Two Seagulls arrived, drawing laughs from the Whales.
(They’d almost mistakenly chosen two males.)
The Swordfishes giggled, the Sailfish guffawed
And the entrance of Chickens brought sneers from the Cod.
The Flying Fish leapt through the air in their mirth
When ten feet of rainwater flooded the Earth,
But a young Moray Eel took a gulp and cried, “Ish!
We can’t live in this, we’re the Salt-Water Fish!”
The Creatures who generally lived in the Ocean
Became overcome with remorseful emotion.
They begged for assistance at starboard and port:
“You’ll all be to blame if our lives are cut short!”
Despite all the ruckus from Deer and Gazelle,
Who felt that the Fishes could all go to Hell,
and the Rhinos who cried, “It’s their own bloody fault!”
Noah dumped over a truckload of salt.
The Freshwater Fish were offended and cried,
“Hey Eel! Keep your salt on your own bloody side!”
But somehow they managed to get through the flood
And the ship was at last washed ashore in the mud.
When the Dove flew to Noah and gave him her Leaf,
No one concealed their tremendous relief,
But the Animals felt a bit Predatorish,
And that’s why so many Land Creatures catch Fish.

That poem was a finalist in the College of Saint Catherine’s Emerging Writers Contest, a competition for juniors and seniors, and I think it’s a very nice poem if I do say so myself. But then I’m not an average kid. I’m an extraterrestrial. I know that because when we read The Muffin Fiend my dad made us gorgonzola muffins as a joke, and I loved them.

Sincerely, Erika H.

Brad Anderson

April 29, 1999

When you and Scott Simon discussed POLKA BATS AND OCTOPUS SLACKS, I gathered that you are the true author, the elephant is the pseudonym. Am I wrong? It sounded so like you. Also, eons ago I heard a poem, I thought by you, which talked about a man who whittled so enthusiastically that he cut off his head and whittled a new one. Where would I find the book containing that and other works of similar ilk? I see you and the might malamute in the photo gallery – is Jill only behind the camera?

Laurel R. Johnson

April 28, 1999

Dear Daniel Pinkwater,

I wrote years ago when my boys were younger and reading your books for the first time. I have enjoyed both your comments on PBS and your encouragement to the Ditzy Alabaman who has written several great books at your encouragement.

I am thrilled that so many adults know you now, who, if they hadn’t paid attention to their children’s books, would have missed your great sense of fun. My request is in regard to the lack of illustrations in adult fiction these days. I just finished reading Winston Churchill’s CONISTON, which if you haven’t read, I recommend, both for the story and the illustrations.

As I began my next book, I checked it our for illustrations before I realized this is a modern book, and (boo-hoo), no illustrations. You have alot of influence. I know you like illustrations. I feel that books are the lesser for not having them, and artists are not being employed where they might enlarge our visions.

Why should children have all the good pictures?

Sincerely,

Laurel R. Johnson

Joan E. Lewis

April 28, 1999

Mr. Pinkwater: Our priest read your book “Doodle Flute” at mass a few Sundays ago. It received a round of applause from the congregation which is unheard of in the Catholic Church. Please tell me where I can buy copies of your book. I have exhausted all of the book sellers on the net. No one has it. I feel it is a great book for our grandchildren. I need 3 copies. Hope you respond. Thanks.

KKn1606

April 27, 1999

Mr.Pinkwater

PLEASE!!!!!!

Stop Smokin` Cigars

Why???? Because I don’t want it to slow you down from writing AWSOME BOOKS

Judy Horn

April 26, 1999

I have heard you mention a hot dog emporium somewjere in upstate NY. I once lived in that area (Beacon) and would like to know where this plce is and, of course, if it still exists. I suppose now that you’re svelte, you’d never go there again, but I’d like to visit this shrine.

Judy Horn

Terrizzo

April 25, 1999

I think I heard you on NPR but didn’t hear enough of the broadcast to catch the name of the delightful new poetry book you read from . Would you let me know what it was? Thank you!!!

John Deary

April 21, 1999

Dear Daniel Pinkwater:

My name is John Deary and I am doing you for my literature term paper. We have to write about a childrens book author and I chose you. I was wondering if you had any information on your family history, any crazy childhood events, and awards you have won on account of your stories. If you could write back, that would be extremely helpful!

Sincerely,

John Deary