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Sarah S.

Post #855 – 19990524

May 24, 1999

Dear Mr. Pinkwater, I just wanted to let you know that Alan Mendelsohn’s tripping methods really work. I haven’t quite mastered the missile whistle, but the whole thing about walking along next to someone and then veering sharply away really works, the person just goes over…it’s cruel and unusual, but it’s fun as heck.

Just thought I’s let you know.

Sincerely, Sarah S.

Washington, DC

Daniel replies:

You are my hero too. Please do not use the powers you derive from reading my books to play cruel tricks on the innocent. This is why I left out the principal secret of time travel in Borgel. If only humans were more mature.


Elizabeth

Post #856 – 19990524

May 24, 1999

My dearest Mr Pinkwater

In my many listenings to Chinwag Theatre, I have fallen madly in love with your books. I have attempted to purchase the ones that I have been unable to hear the ending to ( specifically Wingman and The Hoboken Chicken Emergency) only to find that they are no longer in print. What a sad day I have had today. I was wondering if you knew of where I might be able to purchase these books, or if maybe I could purchase them directly from you? I know that you are a busy man, and I don’t expect an imediate answer. 5 mins from now will be quick enough ( just kidding). I would really appreciate your help.

Thank you and Much love to you

Elizabeth

Daniel replies:

THE HOBOKEN CHICKEN EMERGENCY is supposed to be in print! You can contact the office of Ellen Krieger, Aladdin Books, Simon and Schuster, 1230 Avenue of the America, New York, NY 10020. Ask them to help with this. There is also a newly-designed and illustrated edition scheduled for later this year or next year. WINGMAN is out of print, but copies can be found in used book stores, through internet booksellers, and offered for sale on ebay.com . The price can range from less than original retail to something ridiculous. I am going to try to get it back in print--a process that takes a long time. Publishers are slow, in every sense of the word. If you like Chinwag Theater, please, please, tell the radio station on which you hear it. Thanks for your kind words.


Brad Sondahl

Post #854 – 19990523

May 23, 1999

First you popped up on Morning Edition reading Shel Silverstein poems. Then you popped up on Car Talk touting Chinwag theater. Next I expect you to pop up from my toaster. (I have a large toaster). You are becoming ubiquitous, perhaps rivalling The Phantom Menace.

Perhaps not.

It would be more fun to see your face on potato chip bags than Anakin Skywalker’s.

Brad Sondahl

Daniel replies:

The fact is I don't like fame, such as I have. I like my readers, and when I meet them, or talk to them here, I feel quite happy, but I try not to do things for exclusively promotional reasons. Doug Berman, the producer of Car Talk is a good guy, and he asked me to be on--so I agreed, and since the brothers are cheap bastards and resist paying anything reasonable, I took a plug as recompense. The radio program must grow in order to survive. Please pester your local radio station, and get friends, relations and total strangers to do it also.


Stacey Lyn Adair

Post #853 – 19990520

May 20, 1999

hi! i’m a new recruit of yours, & am interested in your writing because i find it personable & many of your comments make it seem like you consider your readers your personal friends. i think you probably have a lot in common with most of your readers (animal lovers should stick together!). it’s not often that a reader feels an true affinity for an author. if you think i should actually go ahead & become an official fan of yours ( or back out while i can) , what book would you have me start out with after having read fish whistle ? i’d also like to know if you stilll do the radio show you mentioned in fish whistle. thanks.

Daniel replies:

While it is true that I tend to like my readers, (some authors don't, you know...but I do), you have to understand that this doesn't mean you can drop by the house around lunchtime, or ask to borrow $25. It's not that I wouldn't like it, it's just that you shouldn't. With that understood, you are welcome to be my reader all you like. _Fish Whistle_ and _Chicago Days, Hoboken Nights_ will soon be publilshed in one volume, titled: _Hobokenfish and Chicagowhistle_ from xlibris. You can find out about xlibris by clicking where it says to click vis-a-vis _The Afterlife Diet_ on the firstpage of this sire. Thank you for being my reader. I would suggest you order _5 Novels_ from amazon.com for less than 9 dollars.


D. F. Kaplan

Post #852 – 19990517

May 17, 1999

Mr.Pinkwater,

I am writing to you because I chose to complete my author study on you. I currently go to SUNY New Paltz and I am trying to get a master’s in elementary education. If it is at all possible could you please attend my last class (only kidding). If there is some information that would be beneficial to me about yourselve could you please e-mail me back. Obviously, information that is not on this web page. Maybe some new books that are coming out or even where your next appearance will be. It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Daniel replies:

Let me get this straight. You want information _more_ or _other_ than that which is to be found on this web site? You want me, personally, to tell you stuff you can use in writing your paper. OK. I will tell you something you can use: Somewhere on the campus of the State University of New York at New Paltz is a large building inscribed with this strange device: ""LIBRARY."" Locate this building. Go inside. Do not be afraid. There you will find actual books and periodicals, and can read what I wrote, and what others wrote about what I wrote. I am happy to share this tip with you. Feel free to pass it along to other candidates for the Masters degree.


Christel Gause

Post #851 – 19990513

May 13, 1999

What’s Gorgonzola?

-Christel

Daniel replies:

Gorgonzola is the king, the queen, and the jack of the blue cheeses. Gorgonzola is to cheese as I am to writers. Only a real good Stilton, which we never get here, comes close. If there is ever a religion which worships cheese, (and I would consider joining it), Gorgonzola is the one it would worship. Danish blue is nice too. And some of those semi-soft blues like Castello and Saga. Oh, and Roquefort.


Damon Burnard

Post #849 – 19990512

May 12, 1999

Wanna read my book? I illustrated it too! It’s good! Honest! It’s for 6-9 year olds, I guess, is entitled ‘Pork and Beef’s Great Adventure’, and is published by Houghton Mifflin. I’m asking cos i’m a fan and cos it came out at the same time as Polka Dot etc etc, that tome of pomes you enjoyed very much. It also shares the same editor. It’s a heady cocktail of the Icarus myth and Winnie the Pooh. If you’ve time to check it out, I’d love to send you a copy. I think you’d enjoy the pace and the humour, but then they all say that, don’t they?

Cheers!

Damon Burnard

Daniel replies:

Wake up, Damon! It's a mug's game, writing. You cannot win. They won't let you win. Suppose you send copies of your book to me, (Margaret Raymo has my address), and my producer at Weekend Edition Saturday, (Houghton Mifflin's promotions and publicity dept. knows how to do that). And suppose we all think it's suitable for the program, and we discuss it on the air, and read out of it and have a good time with it....it will sell out the 147 copies in the warehouse, the publisher will take 3 weeks to decide to reprint, and 6 weeks to do it, then it has to get shipped--everybody will have forgotten about it, your next contract won't be any better than the last one, the publishing house will be bought up by an Icelandic conglomerate, your editor will be transfered to work on the accounting-for-kids project in the non-fiction department, and you will be back in the wholesale fish market before you know it. But feel free to try, prisoner of hope that you are.


Paul Maes

Post #850 – 19990512

May 12, 1999

Mr. Pinkwater,

Is the cover art on THE AFTERLIFE DIET thru Xlibris by you or Jill? The itsy-bitsy thumbnail version on the Xlibris site is hard to make out. I’m just curious, I think you’re both tops in the pretty picture department.

-Paul Maes

PS Xlibris seems like a super-cool idea.

Daniel replies:

It's by me! The first picture I have drawn since Jill took over the art department around here. (I tell a lie--I did the shading on the cover art for The Education of Robert Nifkin--so it's by both of us).
I agree about Xlibris being a nifty idea. I'm surprised how good I feel after thinking I had gotten over being skunked by Random House when that book was first published. It's just nice that the book is available, and anybody who wants to own a copy can do so. After a while, you need some kind of experience that offsets the stupidity, inefficiency, dishonesty you experience continually if you write books and get them published.


Joe

Post #848 – 19990511

May 11, 1999

Dear Daniel:

Geez, and I thought I was a rabid Pinkwater fan! Regardless . . . As a long-time reader of your books, I have the great pleasure of inviting you to speak at the Jewish Cultural Council of Grand Rapids, Michigan. Ours is a city in serious need of a big orange splot . . . and possibly some intergalactic chili. Furthermore, we promise not to confuse you with another author, speak dada, or forbid you from wearing a tallis.

Please let me know if you would be willing to visit our small community someday.

Your Pal,

Joe

Daniel replies:

What is it, the Jewish Cultural Council of Grand Rapids, Michigan? If that isn't a made-up name, I never heard one. You must think my brain has deteriorated way more than it has. Listen, Joey-boy, I happen to be one of the 40,000 Americans abducted by space aliens each year, and I know a set-up when I see one. Also, if you were legitimate Jews, and not green or grey men, (quite possibly Jewish--I don't know), from another galaxy, you'd hardly suggest I eat chili while wearing a tallis--not directly proscribed, as far as I know, but somehow not in the very best of taste. So, if I were simple enough to accept your invitation, I'd be snatched once again, and then the annoying medical exam, and the prodding by curious space-types. No thanks. I'll just sit here and write my little books, you paskudniak.


James Dryden

Post #846 – 19990510

May 10, 1999

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

Thank you for writing Alan Mendelson and the Boy from Mars. Being a writer myself (working on getting paid), I found it perhaps the most-inspiring and thought-provoking story I have ever read, and I have read this many books (I am making a huge stack symbol with my arms).

Take care,

James Dryden

P.S. I hope I spelled Mendelson correctly.

Daniel replies:

You may have spelled Alan Mendelsohn correctly, but you appear to have typed it wrong--twice. Thanks for reading it, which is more important than spelling it.


Camilla

Post #847 – 19990510

May 10, 1999

Hi Daniel. I posted a question to you a few months ago, maybe you remember me?

Anyways, I told you my favourite book of all time is The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death. Well, a few days ago, I was looking on Amazon.com, thinking about ordering a copy of that and The Snarkout Boys and the Baconburg Horror(?I’ve never read it), but it said they were out of print!!!!

Could you tell me a way I could get a hold of a copy of either one??

Thanks!

Camilla

Daniel replies:

The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death is included in 5 NOVELS, which also has 4 other books and costs something like $8.76 from amazon.com. Baconburg Horror and 3 other books will be in a similar collection which isn't out yet. Meanwhile, you can sometimes find a used copy in a shop--and I've been told my titles come up for auction on e-bay.


Jen Chimbidis

Post #845 – 19990504

May 4, 1999

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

My 6th grade language arts class is reading Fat Men from Space, and they are enjoying it very much. They were curious as to how you came up with the story? What inspired you?

Also, can we buy recordings of Chinwag Theatre?

Thanks,

Jen Chimbidis

Park Street Middle School

Grove City, Ohio

Daniel replies:

Well, it's a true story. I improved it a little. No, you may not buy tapes of Chinwag Theater at this time. You have to get your local public radio station to carry it. Then you can tape it yourself. 100 letters to the Station Manager and Program Director should do the trick.


Nora Keyes

Post #844 – 19990504

May 4, 1999

Dearest Mr. Prinkwater,

It has been a number of years since I wrote you about my little bird, Zero. You returned my E-mail almost immediately; I was very flattered and most grateful. I am writing you again from a friend’s computer, since I posses very little technology, only a record player and a Volvo, not even a phone. He has promised to relay any kind of response you may send. I have picked this time to communicate with you because for the last four and a half years I have been involved in a musical and art project in my home town, that does not exist, Los Angeles. We have just completed our third album. It is our most monumental work so far. I wrote and illustrated an entire story about pets of the future that comes with the CD. You are my biggest influence. I have been obsessed with your books since I first checked out “Lizard Music” from the library when I was in fourth grade.. I still have that book I checked out in 1984. I could never bare to part with it. I would really like to mail you my CD. Your books influenced my youth. The music and art I am producing has links to you. Please tell me how I can mail you my stuff. I thanked you in the credits.

Nora Keyes

P.S. My first E-mail was signed Elnora Fedora, in case of any kind of confusion. My band is called the Centimeters.

Daniel replies:

Elnora Fedora, of course! And little Zero. Sure, you may send me a CD. Also, did you pay the library fine for never returning the book?


Ryan H

Post #842 – 19990503

May 3, 1999

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

I am nine years old and in the fourth grade. I am working on an independent study project and have chosen you as my topic. I’ve been searching the web for information on you. Could you be more specific where you live, new books you’re currently writing and when you think they will be available?

P.S.-I’ve been reading your books since first grade and am your biggest fan!

Ryan H.

Daniel replies:

You are right now in the Fort Knox of Pinkwater trivia. Look around this splended website, the creation of first, the immortal Aileron, and now lovingly tended by Evan. Here you can find everything about me which is true...and more. It's a one-stop resource for an 'A' term paper, (if you have a teacher flaky enough to let you use me as a topic). Go to it!


Amoosehunt

Post #843 – 19990503

May 3, 1999

Hi, Mr. Pinkwater, it’s me again. I changed my name from Charles the Cat to ineffable f because Wallace McGee kept bugging me about how it was “stolen” from your novel. Anyway, I’m writing to ask your help. You see, there’s a lot of tension within our branch of the Wild Dada Ducks, on account of the troubles in Kosovo, and the disintegration of the universe, and… aw, who am I kidding, I really want to ask for advice concerning a girl. Her name is Shakespeare’s Fifth Sonata, and I’m very attracted to her. I asked her if she’d marry me, and she said for me to look her up in ten years. Now she won’t talk to me. What should I do?

Daniel replies:

Ineffable f: Not talking to you is a very good sign. She will be yours--my guess is in 9 years. So rejoice. Use the time to perfect your personality even further.


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