Ben

January 1, 1997

Mr. Pinkwater:

I listen to your oddball and sometimes clever commentaries, but what disturbs me most about you is your brief bio given by NPR after each shpiel, which says “…Daniel P-water comes to us from the Hudson River Valley.” As a geography freak, I’ve been dying to find out what town in the Valley you sign off from — the Nyacks? Tappanzee?, Poughkeepsie?, Albany? … Thanks, Ben

ploobis

January 1, 1997

Your book HOBOKEN CHICKEN EMERGENCY was made into a Wonderworks TV Special a few years back. What are your feelings on that adaptation in particular, and would you ever consider having any of your other books adapted into television specials or movies?

Michelle Gervais

January 1, 1997

Mr. Pinkwater,

I don’t wish to sound like every other geek who praises you, but I have to. I became a fan of yours in elementary school, reading every single book of yours I could find. Not many people I knew then had the right sense of humor, if any at all, so I couldn’t exactly share, but now that I’m a little older, I’ve begun reading your books again. In fact, I make everyone around me read them, too. I also give them as gifts whenever I can. You are now my fiance’s favorite author as well(this is how I know he’s the one for me). He grew up on Raymond Street in Glen Cove, New York, a wierd coincidence. I asked him if he ever had a pet lizard. He said no. Go figure. I recently met one of his friends from childhood, and discovered that he is a huge fan as well. We began talking about your books, and tried to describe Lizard Music to the rest of the people in the room. It just didn’t work.

Since moving to Garrison, New York from Virginia about a year and a half ago, I have heard that you do commentaries on NPR. For some reason, I have never heard you, though I listen to WFUV constantly. Are you on for every All Things Considered, or just once in a while? This really bugs me!

By the way, do you still train dogs? I have a beagle/chihuahua mix who could use your expertise. She would also love to meet you (isn’t that kind of cheap, to use your dog to try to meet your favorite author?). Please tell your wife for me that her books are great, too!

P.S. I have recently acquired a major taste for avocadoes and it’s all your fault!

Tom, Zan, & Joanne

January 1, 1997

Joanne keeps asking me, “Are you going to answer Daniel Pinkwater?” I didn’t know he asked a question I reply. “It was Smokey Stover, question mark. Not Popeye, question mark. Whence comes my mental image, etc., question mark. I’d say he asked you about four of them in all,” says she.

Well, the whence comes my mental image one I’ll leave to doctors Jung and Brill, reply I. He does undermine my confidence in my recollection by questioning thus. Not Popeye, no never, no resemblance between the hitchhiker and George G. Geezil in the beard department, and G. G is the standard by which I measure. Mush Stebbins crosses my mind . . . could it be? No. No, that was “dern such weather ” and “blow.” And those were definitely background characters. Nov schmoz was a foreground personality.

Smokey Stover. No question about it.

I worked with Bob Crumb before he discovered LSD and headed for the coast. He never talked about his sources of inspiration for his comic characters — other than his father and the broken collarbone he gave Bob for christmas one year. Whiteman is drawn from life. And, ’tis true that Bob was enamored of young women of size. Last time I saw him he was sitting on the floor of a hotel room in Chicago and telling me how he was still working on his line. A true artist.

Tim Whittemore

January 1, 1997

Dear Daniel,

I have a permanent memory from your Cartalk comments describing car manufacturers’ lack of ergonomical considerations toward big-bellied Bubbas like myself. This automaker oversight would also apply to expectant mothers. In another 7 months, I will be a new father, and soon, our little Toyota Corolla will seem small not only to me, but my partner, Beth.

This Halloween, I had more of your voice etched into my brain. I can’t forget about Nadine the giant chicken. “She’s a real Shtarker, isn’t she.” I was recording with my band Big Blow and the Bushwackers in the glorious NPR studio 4A. We created the music and sound effects for the multi-authored story you were part of – “A Halloween Journey”. The only sound we didn’t create was the clucking that all the authors added. (I can’t tell which cluck was yours.)

I had to tell you it was fun working with you (so to speak), and to thank you for being the representative voice of the D.I.E.T.- C.A.R. (Drivers in ergonomic turmoil – creating automotive responsibility).

Ergonomically,

Tim Whittemore

P.S. – Do you know of any good kids’ books?

Hal

January 1, 1997

Another Pinkwater thesis topic for would-be Pinkwater scholars:

Time and space are explicitly conflated in_Borgel_, and Melvin Spellbound makes a journey that is temporal, as well as spatial. This is not a unique occurrence in the Pinkwater canon–travel to the “other world” (by which I mean the City Beneath the City, the place that the heroes travel to escape the banality of their lives) is often linked with travel through time, more specifically into th past. The _Heart of Darkness_-like voyage to “the primitive” in _Worms of Kukumlima_ aside, we can see that the past is invoked in the Snark theater (a retro movie house, or whatever they’re called) and in Morrie’s occult bookstore (a used bookstore, where our heroes learn archaeology)–and remember Victor’s discovery of his childhood squirrel on Thunderbolt Island? Is this invocation of the past related to the well-known saw that science is progessive while magic (in the guise of state 26, perhaps?) is regressive? Or is it simply as extension of the time-and-space-are-one philosophy?

Emerie Snyder

January 1, 1997

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

I’m 14 years old and I’ve enjoyed your books for a long time (even though they are sort of strange!). Recently, I’ve gotten very interested in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books by Douglas Adams. His writing style reminds me so much of yours. So, I was wondering if you have met him or know of his books. I might try writing to him as well and asking him about you. Hopefully, one of you will write back (although I’ll be surprised if either of you gives me a straight answer!)

Thanks so much and please keep writing your wonderfully insane books.

Erik Hammen

January 1, 1997

Hello Pinkwater

I know you come to Albany NY and lurk around every so often, so I thought I might turn you on to a great Italian deli. As you drive downtown from the Bookhouse at Stuyvesant plaza it’s about four blocks down on your right in a minimall. I used to work at the Bookhouse and am glad to see the massive 5 book anthology includes the mighty Alan Mendelsohn, The Boy from Mars, and that your recent works published on line are not deviating from your Chicago beatnik fat boy theme.

Brad Sondahl

January 1, 1997

What are some juvenile authors that you enjoy, or that influenced you?

Thanks,

Brad Sondahl in Idaho

Mike

January 1, 1997

Sir, you claim to have lived in Chicago but you do not have a Chicago accent. Can you explain dis? Mike

Daniel Wabyick

January 1, 1997

Hello Mr. Pinkwater!

– I must start off by telling you I have been deeply affected/afflicted by many of your books during my younger, more tender years. I hold you personally responsible for the way I turned out. The SnarkOut Boys and the Avocado of Death was an especially good book for me. I read it more often that I went to synagogue.

– Anyways. I just wanted to relate a short story and ask a question. I have always dreamed of discovering a theatre like the Snark…I determined if I ever found such a theatre, I would work there. When I read Fish Whistle and realized it was based on the now-deceased Clark Theatre in Chicago, I was both elated and saddened.

– Part three: Soon after my discovery, I found out that an older friend of mine actually had worked in the Clark Theatre in the late 1960’s. Furthermore, he told me of a story about a gang of interstate car thieves that were apprehended inside the Clark during a film. This solidified everything I had ever dreamed would happen in a theatre like the Snark.

– Finally, the question: Are there any 24 hour theatres like the Snark/Clark left on this earth, and if so, could you give me a tell?

Take care,

Daniel Alan Wabyick

Bernadette Noll

January 1, 1997

I do live in a place where middle eastern delights do not exist. Things such as good pizza, good hotdogs and good bagels are unheard of here in Texas. Many try to replicate but none have achieved the perfect toughness and doughiness of a real New Jersey bagel, yeast bubbles on pizza are practically unheard of and no, I don’t think Vienna hotdogs are available ANYWHERE within a thousand miles or so of Austin. I do return to my beloved middle eastern home state a couple times a year to remind my tastebuds of how they are really meant to be. Yellow mustard huh? The other fixings we add but the yellow mustard is what we are lacking. Thanks for the tip.

Joe Gratz

January 1, 1997

Hi. I’m 1 16-year-old whose personality and sense of humor have been shaped, molded, twisted, and otherwise warped by “Young Adult Novel”. I got the book when I was 6, read it, and was tickled slightly. Then, when I was 12, I read it again, and was severely tickled. Last year, I began to study Dada — obviously due to some long-dormant, subconscious curiosity brought on by the book. I recently read “Young Adult Novel” again, and was tickled within an inch of my life. After 6 more readings, I passed the book around among my friends, who are quick becoming as odd as I am. Many thanks for helping to turn me into the strange, slightly-annoyingly sardonic odd duck that I am today. Even though it is “a dada story”, things this odd usually have some underlying symbolism. The best I can tell, the Dada Ducks represent the U.S. Government, getting a friendly dictator elected, only to be squashed by him, after all kinds of propaganda. Then again, maybe it has no moral.

And I promise, if I ever open any sort of restaurant, it will be called the Balkan Falcon.

Thanks 1,000,000.25 (the .25 is from my friends who just read the book. They’ll work up to a million soon enough),

Joe Gratz

Hal

January 1, 1997

I am a Ph.D. candidate at NYU named Hal. I would love to do my dissertation on your texts, O Pinkwater, but I have a feeling that wouldn’t work out so well. For those brave than I, I offer some sample subjects for Pinkwater criticism:

The theme of doubling in _Alan Mendelsohn_: there are numerous repetitions of silly little things (one example is the Nafsu Motors yearbook and Nafsulian pirates, there are several more) that lead up to the doubling of Waka-Waka/Hogboro. Is there a common thread betwen these doublets? Is one more “real” than the other?

_Alan Mendelsohn_ and _Avocado of Death_ present different paths to “salvation” (or whatever). In AM, Leonard goes through an internal change–at the end of the book he is back to where he was in the beginning, in the main. (The exception is the remedial gym class.) His best friend is gone. His psychic powers show no evidence of being used in the future. He goes to the same lousy school. But his experience has made him into a kind of Alan Mendelsohn. The Snarkout Boys, on the other hand, have not changed at all: they have simply discovered another world, much cooler than the one they were used to–they have only changed externally, have only changed their surroundings. Compare and contrast.

Is Mr. Neeble Osgood Sigerson? Evidence: enjoyment of raisin toast & avocados; nose putty can for collar studs/Osgood’s false nose; never at the same convention; Mr. Neeble’s “working late”; Osgood’s familiar voice; etc. But then who is Sacker?

Note that all Pinkwater juvenile novels have the same plot: alienated (or at least dissatisfied) young boy goes finds himself in unusual circumstances, the strangeness escalates until he is initiated into another, weirder world. This outline applied to _Alan Mendelsohn_, _Snarkout Boys_ (although by the second book they’re already initiated), _Yobgorgle_, _Borgel_, _Lizard Music_, the underappreciated _Worms of Kukumlima_, even _Java Jack_ and many other books. Now look at _Young Adults_. The first section, “Young Adult Novel,” is the Pinkwater plot in reverse: we get the plot from the point of view of the weird people. Kevin Shapiro is the alienated kid, but he doesn’t want to be initiated. “Dead End Dada” is a parody of the Pinkwater plot. The Dada Boys are now cast as the alienated youths, but they mistake banality for cool weirdness. “The Dada Boys in Collitch” is a return to the standard plot, with the weird old guy in the woods representing the strange world that the Dada Boys need to be initiated into. This is why “In Collitch” is “unfinished”; we already know the rest, because Pinkwater has written it several times before. More work needs to be done on this.

I would like to prepare annotated versions of Pinkwater’s major works to facilitate study. I mean, how long did it take before I got the Cabeza de Vaca references? A Pinkwater Society, with a high quality quarterly, should be founded. Etc.

Love and Kisses,

HAL!

Fred Fisher

January 1, 1997

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

Being a former resident of the Hudson Valley, I enjoy your pieces on NPR. In the future, if you have childrens books to give away, try the New Paltz school system. They may be more receptive and they certainly could use new books. Most of their stuff was published in the 50’s and 60’s.

Sincerely,

Fred Fisher