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Ernest Kim

Post #795 – 19990115

January 15, 1999

Hello Mr. DMPinkwater,

I was re-reading the Avocado of Death last night and i noticed some things that i’d never noticed before. My question is: Is Walter Galt’s father secretly Osgood Sigerson? For the first time, I took notice of the fact that they’ve never met, not even at the Avocado Fancier’s meeting, and that Mr. Galt keeps his collar buttons in a NOSE PUTTY tin! I was so excited about this (possible) discovery that I called up my friend Kirthi, and she said “You should TOTALLY write Daniel Pinkwater and ask him.” (She sent you a book to sign for me for my birthday back in September or so.)

Please respond, even if it’s to say “Why would I give that away? Mysteries are good and nice,” or even to say “They are fictional characters, they can be whatever I want them to be when I’m writing them,” or even “I am very busy. Leave me alone.” Ever since my unanswered letter to Lynda Barry, I’ve been wary of writing to my literary heroes. (Though Kirthi got a very nice response when she wrote to her, on a postcard with Marlys on it.)

Thanks.

Sincerely,

Ernie Kim

Daniel replies:

Works of art are subject to interpretation--that's part of what they are. Any reader is entitled to any conclusions. I don't have to comment, and may not even know. I will say this: In the Lifeline Theater production in Chicago, not only does Walter's father turn out to be Sigerson, but Mrs. Galt turns out to be Sacker. Few people comment on this aspect of that book.
Even fewer seem to know that just before publication Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was still calling his characters Sherrinford Holmes, and Dr. Ormond Sacker. And Sigerson was an alias Holmes used during his travels when thought to be dead, after Reichenbach Falls. 
There are more things in heaven and earth, Kim, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.


Melony Turnbull

Post #798 – 19990115

January 15, 1999

Dear Mr. Daniel Pinkwater,

How was you Chankkah days and your New Year I hope you enjoyed it. My Christmas and my new year was great for christmas I got some shoes, Pants, shirts, swetters, nintendo 64, and many other things. Oh! and New Year it was great my mom and dad Melissa and Julio went with my Grandparent Frences and Johnny to a dance and my sister, my brother and I Melony Turnbull Oh by the way my sister and brother’s names are Marisa and Louis we stayed at my aunt and uncles house but we had to stay inside because last year on new years this young man and his 2 daughters were sleeping and he was in his bed and got shot in the head so we all stayed inside their house but it was really fun but it was for our protection. Could you tell me in a letter how you celebrate your Chanjjah days and New years. Thank you for your cooperation.

Love.

Melony Turnbull

P.S. Happy Chankkah and Happy New Year

Daniel replies:

I see you are confused about the spelling of Chanukah. This is not uncommon, as there are several recognized spellings, including Hannukah, Channuka, Harmonica, and Chattahoochie. Something not known to many is that Hebrew is a language entirely without written vowels. There are vowels in spoken Hebrew, as well as consonants, maybe some dipthongs, gutterals, and sounds such as you might make if choking on an olive pit.
Thus, an authentic spelling would be ""Chnkk,"" or ""H*nn*k*h.""


AmooseHunt

Post #794 – 19990111

January 11, 1999

Hello. I am one of 13 people whose AOL profiles contain your name (only 3 of whom have posted on this site). Before I read Young Adult Novel, my name was Amos Hunt, which made my screen name seem very clever. Now, however, I am Charles the Cat, and it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense anymore. I kept it because I’m too lazy to change it. Most of my lunch table joined the Dada Ducks last year after I let the former Kenny Bouma (Now Venustiano Carranza (President of Mexico)) borrow 5 Novels. In addition to the names we stole from your book, there’s Cherry Lantifreeze, the Third-to-Last Quinchy, Hemiolan Artifice, Jimmy the Moose, How-Do-You-Do?, Chink Monkey, Bi[g Ugly] Llama (this one requires the cooperation of a second party to pronounce), and Fat(e) Q. Some people who are not officially Dada Ducks but should be are Blue Turds (two certain evil persons have insisted that she not be allowed to join), Fullofoman, and the Queen of the Pooftas (She used to be Bruth, but she threatened to be “no more than civil to me” if I didn’t stop). After almost a year of being Ducks, we have no substantial dada activities to our credit, but we very frequently discuss the possibility of turning into trees someday, and next year we fully intend to be rejected as an act in the school variety show.

Sir, I love your books. It disgusts me that so many are ignorant of your work. I sneak them into unsuspecting children’s book bags at the library, and constantly bother everyone I know to read them sometime. Wether you meant to or not, you have changed my life and many others. Thank you.

Daniel replies:

You know, YOUNG ADULT NOVEL, as presented in 5 NOVELS, and originally a T.Y. Crowell hardcover, also exists in an expanded paperback form in two editions, trade, and mass-market, both titled YOUNG ADULTS and both published by Tor Books, and now out of print. These books contain the original YOUNG ADULT NOVEL, a sequel, DEAD END DADA, and THE DADA BOYS IN COLLITCH, said to be the first chapter of a novel. The trade paperback has some other stuff too. So, now you know. Life is more complicated than you dreamed.


Oovnik

Post #793 – 19990105

January 5, 1999

I am a girl, and I want to join the Wild Dada Ducketts. I know a little about the art movement. Basically, it’s the art of shocking people. Where do I sign up?

Daniel replies:

You just did. Congratulations, duckette, Oovniki. Now, force your local public radio station to carry my program, Chinwag Theater. (If they carry it already, send daily fan mail praising it). 
Your official Duckette badge will be issued when you have proven yourself worthy.


Jamie M Heise

Post #792 – 19990103

January 3, 1999

If Garrison Keillor and Daniel Pinkwater switched places, what would you do on a Prairie Home Companion?

Which one of you would win in a slow bicycle race?

Daniel replies:

Garrison Keillor?


Brad Sondahl

Post #791 – 19990101

January 1, 1999

We’re reading The Education of Robert Nifken aloud, and enjoying it immensely. But I am puzzled by your more adult language than your other adolescent novels. I presume this is a conscious choice on your part, and undoubtedly reflects real world experience, but I’m uncomfortable reading some of the words aloud to my family. (Of course I am married to a minister…) Do you hope to increase marketshare, like movies that throw in a couple swear words to get a PG rating instead of a G? On the plus side, last night we were all laughing uncontrollably by the time you got to the part describing the 3rd period Biology class (Why do they keep sending me these children?). It really is a great book.

My own Biology teacher had a bit of a problem with discipline, and tended to throw chalkboard erasers at kids he was having a problem with. He also shut kids in the closet as a discipline. I personally was closetted after arguing about an answer on a test. It was a lark–I chuckled quite a bit, and he’d open the door and ask if I had enough, and I’d laugh, and he’d shut it again. After all, a closet is much more fun than memorizing the 8 orders of insects (which I learned later is a truncation).

Hemiptera, Homoptera, Odonata, Coleoptera, Rah Rah Rah!

—

Daniel replies:

Yes, I did allow Robert Nifkin to use a couple of (very mild) cusswords. That's how he talks. 
The suggestion that I presented a tiny bit of vulgarity in order to secure more popularity is unworthy, and I'm sure you didn't mean it. I will stand on my record of never doing anything to make my books more popular, or my career more successful. 
What I want to point out to you is this: If certain words make you uncomfortable, and if you avoid or proscribe those words, you are singling them out and giving them special power--power beyond that of other words, which are merely symbols which convey particular ideas. To do this seems to me a mark of primitive and uneducated societies, in some of which there are ""fighting words,"" which, if used, requires one to take physical reprisal...or, more to the point here, ""magic words,"" which if said will cause devils or evil spirits to appear. 
I am informed that civilized people who hold religious beliefs are opposed to the practice of magic, investing carved idols with magical powers, or the belief that saying ""abracadabra,"" will make imps and homunculi appear. I'd add to this giving extra weight to vulgar words. They're just words. You don't have to use them--even for emphasis--and many don't. But, to me, refraining from saying, ""son-of-a-bitch,"" only makes sense if you do it in the same way you'd refrain from saying, ""ain't.""


Pat Nevins

Post #790 – 19981230

December 30, 1998

Hi, Daniel,

I just wanted to say hi, and thank you for all the encouragement you gave me a few months ago, when we exchanged some emails after you read my comments in Fat!so?’s gabcafe. I wanted to tell you that I am writing a children’s book now, and that if I ever succeed in getting it published, you will have been a large part of my inspiration, you and a wonderful young man whom I also met in the cafe.

Take care, and I wish you much success with your work.

(I finally found my own copy of The Afterlife Diet in a used book store, after years of difficulty in finding it at the library when I wanted to reread it. About time.)

Talk to you again soon, I hope.

Sincerely,

Pat Nevins

Daniel replies:

I wish you good luck, and here is the only good advice anyone can ever give anyone vis-a-vis getting published: 
PERSEVERE!
Postage is cheap, phone calls are relatively cheap. And, as Winston Churchill is said to have said: ""Never give up! Never, never, never give up!""


Stefan Jones

Post #788 – 19981222

December 22, 1998

Dear Captain:

I enjoyed your commentary on the Teletubbies. A younger friend of mine said that now that he’s seen the show, he doesn’t ever need to experiment with drugs. Watching ‘Teletubbies’ is trippy enough that no chemicals would be necessary.

I think your dogs would enjoy visiting Teletubbyland. I mean, think of all those chubby, slow, rabbits. I figure it would be THE place to be if one was reincarnated as a German Shepherd.

Best,

Stefan Jones

Daniel replies:

Hm. They ran my Teletubbies piece? I wish I'd heard it. I wonder what I said.


Joseph P. Klein

Post #787 – 19981214

December 14, 1998

When will we see a sequel to “Mush, a Dog from Space?”

My family has enjoyed many of your books, from “Ducks” to “The Hoboken Chicken Emergency” to “The Afterlife Diet.” And I can’t count the number of times we’ve read “Ned Feldman.”

Also, thank you for your recommendations of “Antarctic Antics” and “A Barrel of Laughs, a Vale of Tears.” We enjoy them both.

Daniel replies:

 Thanks for you kind remarks. I am afraid you will never see the sequel to ""Mush, a Dog from Space,"" (though one exists), due to the pigheadedness of a certain editor. Thugs, hitmen, and plain folk who enjoy adminstering beatings to amoral and destructive yuppies, may apply privately for his name and address.


Cathie Ashton

Post #786 – 19981212

December 12, 1998

I enjoy hearing your book reviews on Weekend Edition and would really love to find the music that is used with that segment! It sounds like Jimmy Durante singing “The Day I Read a Book”. I think my fifth and sixth grade students would have fun listening to this neat song.

Thanks!

Cathie Ashton

Daniel replies:

Well, it's on a CD, because the program found it when I asked for it. I don't have any further information, but maybe someone else does.


Kaya Adams

Post #785 – 19981211

December 11, 1998

Well, after reading these other emails I feel inspired to drop you a line. Who knows why I went looking for your address today of all days, but maybe it has something to do with the strange effects of christmas muzak. More than likely it’s due to pondering a trip to Syracuse, NY. While I was there for grad school two years ago, I wanted to stop by and visit you, since we were both in CNY at the time. Alas. Do you mind house-calls from fans? I used to wait for the Clark Street bus in front of the Newbury Library every day to take me to school. So on long car trips, when we pop in the tape of your NPR essays, my mom (a Chicagoan born and bred) and I laugh hysterically at all the Chicagoland tales. I love your books not just for your senseability, but really because each time I read one, I think of the nifty people who introduced me to them in the first place (they also recommended the Moomintroll series, which is lots of fun). All it takes it one page of ‘Young Adults’ to start me rolling on the floor, teary-eyed from laughing.

Kaya

Daniel replies:

Try ""The Education of Robert Nifkin,"" which is set in Chicago, and tells about it. House calls are discouraged, (because of the dogs, and the man-traps, you know).


Bob Jump

Post #784 – 19981211

December 11, 1998

Please provide title and author of book reviewed during 5 pm – 7 pm week day program with subject of Vampire who drinks Books.

I really enjoyed the review.

Thank you and Happy Holidays

Bob Jump

Daniel replies:

It was on Weekend Edition Saturday that I discussed The Ink Drinker (Delacorte Press) by Eric Sanvoisin with Scott Simon. Good little bookie.


Karen Odell

Post #783 – 19981206

December 6, 1998

Good Morning Mr. Pinkwater & your Wife,

I’m sorry I forgot your wife’s name. We had meet at the dental office in Pine Plains, NY. My name is Karen, I was the director at the time. How are you doing?! I was looking around the web and there you are! All over…

How impressive all this is. I wonder is this a sign of modern fame; if so how wonderful! I hope all is well with you and your family during this holiday season.

How can I get you to autograph a book for my daughter; are you apprearing anywhere for a signing in the future?

Happy Holidays & Healthy New Year “1999”

Karen Odell

Daniel replies:

Her name is Jill. I remember you. That was some good dentist that used to be at that office.


Deborah Taylor Sweeney

Post #782 – 19981204

December 4, 1998

Can you help?

Months ago, on NPR [KQED-SF or KAWL-SF] I heard on your “theater” program, a story about a dog that died. I remember the word Yukon and very little else. Perhaps it was a PBS Chinwag Theater program? Are you able to identify this story for me. I was listening on my car radio and could not take down info., and a friend, who had just put his 15 year old Golden to sleep heard it on the radio too and had to pull over to feel his grief hwne hearing the story. I would like a tape of the program for him and for me.

Do you know what story we heard?

How can I obtain the tape?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you very much.

Deborah Taylor Sweeney

Daniel replies:

It's a fairly rare tape, called ""Of Dogs and Men,"" put out by NPR and later, for NPR, by DOVE audio, which has never sent me a royalty statement, let alone a check. The piece is in written form in FISHWHISTLE, which is also out of print and hard to find. 
You probably heard it on Chinwag Theater on KQED. I say probably because there are a dozen or fifteen programs which have aired, and I haven't heard in finished form yet...a problem arising from having no staff at all. We plan to make the programs available on tape and/or CD...but first we need a corporate sponsor so we can hire someone to help us.
If you are reading this, and you are a corporation, or if you know a corporation, please consider giving a mediuim-sized lump of money to us. We will mention your name in connection with our fine program, and I think the money can be deducted as though it weren't buying advertisements.
Oh great! Evan Sayre had to remind me that there is a special cassette edition of that story, and my other NPR dog stories, available RIGHT HERE! It's not that there isn't a copy sitting right on my desk in plain sight at all times. Anyway, proceeds from this special edition go to the Malamute Rescue Fund, so go ahead and order it.


Ian Stoba

Post #781 – 19981203

December 3, 1998

I read your response to Richard Hamilton and it got me wondering about My Tooth is Quick. Is it any relation to the early Mickey Spillane novel of a very similar name?

While I’m on the subject of influence and allusion, I have thought for a while now that the cover photo of 5 Novels is based on the cover of the famous recording of George Szell conducting the Chicago Symphony in the Eroica Symphony.

How far off am I? I know Harlan Ellison keeps a file of letters people write to him pointing out references in his work to books he has never read.

And more to the point, is there edible ethnic food anywhere in the Hudson Valley?

Daniel replies:

Mickey Spillane?
I think I remember that recording. No.
How would Harlan Ellison know what books he's never read when I don't?
Ethnic food in the Hudson Valley? There's lots. There are those soft bagels, boiled ham with lettuce and mustard on white, jitterbugs, supermarket hot dogs with canned chili, egg salad with lots of mayo...so many specialties. Yum. Or, you can go to the Bangal Country Store, which is the _only_ consistently fine restaurant known to me.


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