January 1, 1997

Post #726 – 19970101

Defacement of Charicter and Dhrama Six shooters.

First off, I would like to say that I believe that I was the subject of an earlier message on this page, involving a rather peeved reader and stolen library books. I was the only person I am aware of who mentioned stealing a library book from none other than a library, though be it accidentaly. I did not mean to steal this book, it just happened. Second, I am a he, not a she, and the person being refered to was called a she, so I could be wrong about being the topic of the letter, but even if I am not, I am still writing this to defend the others on this page who may have “stolen” library books. The way I see it, you cant ever steal a library book, its always just, “over-due”. And there is nothing wrong with over-due. Third, I would also like to thank Mr. Pinkwater for defending me, and other library offenders. Where would we be with out you? At the whim of people, and I use the term people loosly, like Mantra boy, who so slandered my name, and others of my kindred. One day they will awake to find their teeth carefully removed with the sharpened end of a green number two fiber castell pencil, and the holes in their gums filled with avacado paste. This is an idle threat, please take it as such. I am accustemed to making idle threats, and have been known to get in trouble for them(remember barry lukidus? One of the first in a series of school shootings? Ahh, but that is another story. Needless to say, I had no intent of harming anybody, and the school counselers really over reacted.).

Ahh yes, those were the days, in fact, they still are. Well a mighty big thank you to Mr. P, who so selflessly defended my “crimes” and told me first, of all people, that The Afterlife Diet would be on the web. I laughed, I cried, I found a new diet plan, and to you I say, good day.

Daniel replies:

What can I say? You are nominated for ""Typical Pinkwater Reader of 1998."" Folks, this boy...this Draynen...this rotten anti-social little whelp, is what makes it all worthwhile for DMP. I am bursting with pride. Or maybe it's the burritos I had after lunch.