Stefan Jones

January 1, 1997

Post #690 – 19970101

Dear Captain:

Many months ago I asked you what I should do with two avacados I’d bought after being inspired by your novel _The Snarkout Boys and the Avacado of Doom_. I turned these into guacamole (that’s Spanish for “guaca sauce”), but thoughtlessly threw away the pits.

Now I have two more fresh avacado pits, and would like to grow them as you suggested way back when. My question: Which side goes up? The skinny side? The fat side? If I get it wrong will the plant grow with its roots in the air until it can no longer hold its breath and drown?

Thank you in advance for your help!

Daniel replies:

I believe you're supposed to put the avocado pits under your pillow. Then the Avocado-Fairy will come in the night, and give you lovely dreams. Or kill you--I forget which.