Jason Ward

January 1, 1997

Post #641 – 19970101

I have been a huge fan of your stuff since I was about ten. That’s why I think you should know that I hope, make that PLAN, to be a writer JUST LIKE YOU. I’ve been trying to achieve this goal by eating one eighth of my weight in boiled pasta every day. I’ve gained 34 pounds so far, and it’s only been two months! When I’m not eating, I rest on the floor and think up ideas for stories. I’m only 5’9″ and have always been skinny, but by the end of the summer I hope to weigh at least 300 pounds. I’ll keep you posted. Meanwhile, keep up the good work.

Fat people rule!!!!

Daniel replies:

Jason, you are the first person to discern the secret of my success as an author. Yes, it is maintaining weight! I learned this by accident when I flunked out of Sumo school in Kyoto in 1962. I wasn't able to make the weight for the beginning Sumo squad, and was never able to handle more than two tubs of noodles--the pros do at least three--but my prose improved. Gravitas, Jason, gravitas. Keep up the good work.