Stefan Jones

January 1, 1997

Dear Captain Pinkwater:

I was delighted to find FIVE NOVELS in the bookstore this afternoon. I bought two copies: one for myself, another to lend. I’m already mostly done with _Alan Mendelsohn_. Great stuff!

Now, I have some questions for you:

Did it hurt when they tattooed “5 NOVELS” into your palm prior to the cover shot? Are you able to use the hand normally, or was having it maimed with hundreds of needle pricks just part of the cost of marketing? Do your dogs shy away from you when you extend your blackened palm toward them? Do the Poghkeepsie yokels think your tattoo is the mark of Cain?

No, dogs like me. As to the yokels, they cringe before anyone who walks upright. That thing on my hand is a birthmark.