Jordan Kleber

July 19, 2014

Post #3764 – 20140719

Dear Mr. Pinkwater, I am a native New Yorker who has been living in Portugal since 2001 and in Lisbon since 2005. Given your lamentations upon the state of the art in New York which I heard on NPR back ’97, I don’t expect you’ll be surprised to hear that bagels are not available here. I hope to remedy that by opening Levi’s New York Style Bagels, named after my grandson. As part of my research, would it be possible for me to get copies of the transcripts of your ’90s NPR bagel reports? Thank you for your consideration. Jordan Kleber

Daniel replies:

Actual bagels are extinct because there are no more bagel-makers with arms like gorillas, and it has been shown that machines can only make bageloid simulations. It's remotely possible you could retrain Portuguese fishermen used to hauling nets, but I think your prospects are dim.