Keith Baldwin

January 21, 2006

Post #1916 – 20060121

Why do you taunt me mr. pinkwater? I just found out that the Snark theater is closely based on the real world Clark Theater, and got very excited before seeing that it was “closed/demolished”. It’s bad enough that there are no 24 hour theters in my home town, but to find out the pie(accent aigue)ce de resistance is gone!? i was devistated. Anyway, i wanted to ask for some advice for my cousin. He’s going to the University of Chicago and isn’t enjoying the city as much as he should. I already reccommended a Chicago style hotdog, any other suggestions? A bermuda triangle basis perhaps? Or a quirky old part of town? anything would help. Thanks for your time.

P.S. 32 minutes left till my first snarkout attempt!

Daniel replies:

First, I must tell you that snarking was an art form better practiced in a less perilous period. My own snarking experiences--some of my records still standing today--did not include a single note of danger. That was then. Be advised. I suggest virtual snarking. I also have to tell you that there is a specific number of Chicago hot dogs one can eat over a lifetime--this number varying from person to person--before a fatal result. The University of Chicago is one of the most cheerless and depressing places on the planet--nothing can be done to help your cousin. Troops of strolling clowns with banjos would be swallowed up in the gloom. You might advise him to transfer. I am sorry to have such information to covey.