“220 Breaker Close Call”

playing beneath the lights is fun you know

you grab a bat and swing at a throw

and if your luck is in that hard clout

you won’t hear the umpire shouting you’re out

the crowd will stand and cheer you on

as you’re rounding the bases and heading for home

and all of a sudden your sneaker comes loose

your stride has been broken you feel like a goose

oh now you remember what your mother said

don’t use so much lace there’ll be trouble ahead

you know you should listen to your mother’s whine

cause your sneaker was flapping down that third base line

but good things can happen in odd ways we know

for the lace it had wrapped itself round the big toe

and as you were tagged with the ball at home plate

the sneaker came forth not a second to late

the sneaker dislodged that ball from his grip

as it swung from the ankle out round by the hip

the ump stood there staring an expressionless wreck

for the lacing had twisted three times round his neck

the crowd was shouting he’s safe don’t you know

as the umpire was gagging for fresh breath to go

his eyes were popping he was short of fresh breath

and who cares about baseball when choking to death

you took hold of that sneaker and gave it a throw

untangled his breathing and ended the show

two outs in the ninth and the score had been tied

when you hit that ball hard and gave it a ride

the game it was ended for reasons belate

as the umpire babbled his call from home plate

the play was memorious it made headline news

cause the lights shining over thus blew out their fuse !