Ineffable F

November 29, 2000

Captain P:

During the past week, I have had a number of very odd experiences, and I thought that since you advised me so well in the past, you might be able to make something of it. It all started on Wednesday, when I sat down and unzipped my backpack to discover that it had been emptied and refilled with pastrami. Later I found my coat pockets stuffed full of lasagna and hot apple pie. To top it all off, I am constantly bombarded by pot roast and spare ribs (which hurt!) flying at me from all directions.

.

The food is excellent, and of course I enjoyed it at first. But I am beginning to worry that if this culinary onslaught continues I will tire of these exquisite dishes, and the thought, sir, I cannot endure.

What is going on and how can I make it stop?

deliciously yours,

ineffable f

There are things of which we never tire. Oh, perhaps at the end, when we are stupid and toothless--but not until. What you describe is a process of nature--try to comprehend it, although you can't.