Rheta Baron King

January 1, 1997

Daniel:

Love your commentaries on NPR. Thank you. Some time ago you talked about a scratch and sniff book about historical London. Even good book stores have been unable to help me find it (I lost the title, of course), but I beg you to e-mail me the publication info so that I can track it down. Many, many thanks.

Jack Mills

January 1, 1997

Your Hilarity:

While driving along a timber-access road in Wyoming two Fourths of July ago, I was tuned into All Things Considered on National Public Radio and heard the touching and tickling story about your perfect piccolo performance of Stars and Stripes Forever. How can I help you help me obtain a recording of that story?

Harry Chauss

January 1, 1997

Dear Mr Pinkwater,

My wife and I are going to move to Hoboken in January. When we went down there recently (we live in Troy now). I was sort of expecting it to be the way it was when you lived there. . . of course that was quite a while ago, so I’m not really sure what I was thinking. . . At any rate I have two questions:

1) Do you know if any of the cool places that you used to frequent are still in existance?

2) Has the city of Hoboken ever honored you for all of the tireless work that you have done to promote Hobokenocity through the years?

David Paterson

January 1, 1997

I recently had the great luck to find a copy of 5 Novels at a local bookstore. Needless to say, I bought it and read all 5 within 3 days. But reading them did raise a few questions:

• (1) What’s with Iceland?

• (2) Have you ever visited Montreal? We have Real Bagels (boiled in honey water, then baked in a wood stove, coated with poppy or sesame seeds), Montreal Smoked Meat, and Cuban cigars. Let me know if you want to plan a trip.

• (3) No, really, what’s with Iceland?

Bruce Balan

January 1, 1997

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

In your reply to Michelle Gervais you said:

“I own a horse who used to live in Glen Cove, and also bought a

car there once, (a 1978 Chevrolet station wagon).”

I have 2 questions plus another one:

1. Is the car registered in your name (as the owner of the horse and, therefore, the horse’s possessions) or in the horse’s name?

2. When you take drives together do you use the horses station wagon or your big Mercedes?

3. Is a 78 Chevy wagon really big enough for a horse or was it an impulse buy?

Thanks,

Bruce Balan

David A. Paterson

January 1, 1997

A note about “5 Novels” – I went to a bookstore in Toronto a few days ago. Wonder of wonders, their computer system admitted to knowing of your book, and admitted that the bookstore had even ordered copies. My joy was shortlived; none of those copies had ever made it across the 49th Paradox (or is it parallel?) that serves as a border between our two nations. Do you know anything about your books not being shipped into Canada? Or am I merely seeing conspiracies where none exists?

Fnord,

David A. Paterson

Bloomeenee

January 1, 1997

Here’s something yuo might find interesting: Driving home along the Ronald Reagan Expresswa (speed limit 50mph) last night, I passed a billboard of interest. It was simple white block letters against a black background, which read “IT IS NOT WRONG TO LOVE AVOCADOS.” Funny thing to see on a billboard, but the best one I’ve seen in months.

Clare

January 1, 1997

do you like corn muffins?

David A. Paterson

January 1, 1997

Writing for kids is a very demanding audience – unlike adults, kids have taste until we manage to drum it out of them.

Here’s my question: which children’s authors do you enjoy? I’m partial to Robert Munsch – every girl shuld be issued a copy of “The Paperbag Princess” at birth, and I challenge any parent to read “Love You Forever” and not cry.

And here’s my other question: do you deliberatly write children’s books for adults, or am I just hopelessly mired in pre-adolesence?

Christel

January 1, 1997

Dear Daniel Pinkwater,

You are definatly my favorite author and “Borgel” is definatly my favorite book. i originally had a soft cover version but it fell apart after about the 20th reading so i was forced to special order a hard cover copy. (i live in alaska. you can’t get anything up here.) i plan on passing it down to my children and thier children. i push your books on people like a Jehovah’s Witness. “Go on, read it!” I say. “The man’s a genius, I tell you!” i have two cats and an iguana. I own a copy of Lizard Music too. I had been a little apprehensive at contacting you for a while because i thought i might find out that you are dead or something. Thanks to you i also have a fixation on Hoboken and I’m looking for a cheap apartment there in my spare time. my mom calls it The Promised Land. well, there were a million things i wanted to talk about but now that i’m here i can’t think of a one.

-christel

p.s. how do you pronounce Fafner?

Adam

January 1, 1997

Mr Pinkwater,

First let me say that your writing is fully brilliant. Clever to no end, and all of that. Now let me jump over towards the question…

I read and reread descriptions of the old neighborhood part of town in Snarkout Boys and the Avacado of Death (as well as descriptions of the theatre, area surrounding, etc.) Is this based on a real area? if so- how can I get there from Snellville, Georgia? (the town where “everybody is somebody”-but nobody, believe me, is much of anybody)

Hal Johnson

January 1, 1997

I must say, Hoboken has more frat boys in it than one would be led to believe from reading your books. In fact, I can’t help but wonder if, ever since I wrote and told you, several months ago, that I was moving to Hoboken–if you have been laughing at me behind my back all this time, occasionally shaking you head in disbelief and muttering, “I can’t believe I tricked that nimrod into moving there.”

Frat boys regardless, Hoboken is a nice town, and it is true, as Norman says in _Atilla the Pun_, that you can furnish your apartment with items found on the street. I amuse myself by taking friends of mine on Pinkwater-Tours of Hoboken, the highlight of which is an exciting trip to the playground at which Henrietta learned to slide.

I was wondering if you would be willing to provide the approximate locations of the Magic Moscow (or the place that inspired it, should there be one) and your old Hoboken homestead. Surely the statute of limitations has expired, and you can no longer be held acountable for whatever acts fo depravity you committed there; the Cold War is over, and with it your need for secrecy. If I could point out “the old Pinkwater place” on my tours, I would no longer have to hear people say: “That’s it? A crummy slide?”

I would like to point out that I do not charge for these tours, and that I have never eaten a child of my own.

Jessica Blankenship

January 1, 1997

Mr Pinkwater,

Your book “Young Adult Novel” got me through a very serious illness, not that I medicated myself with it but it gave me something to think about when nurses and doctors played Lets Find The Vein!! (a game more popular than you’d think) and probably prevented me from having to kill them. So on behalf of their continued ability to procreate and respirate I thank you. As for me, the book was the only thing that made me smile for a very long time, and it still does and so do you….

Abe Gurewitz

January 1, 1997

Earlier I wrote you on some questions for a paper that I am writing. To be more precise on the questions I had. 1.why do you make fun of how many jewish people are fat, the things that they eat, the way that they dress, and the way that they talk.

Please tell me what you think on these topics and what I could use to show them. I own both moosepire books, borgel, lizard music, fish whistle, Hoboken days and chicago nights, fat men from outer space, and all the snark out boy series.

Thanks,

Abe Gurewitz

P.S. My dad wanted me to mention that he grew up in Benton Harbour Michigan and your charecter from there in the book Borgel seemed to resemble a person who he knew when he lived there.

Ben

January 1, 1997

Brutha,

Dig,like I dig you the most, dig? I dig your flip, and your riff, and the place your wig is at, dig? Now did this the most, dig?

a hepcat like you, being the cats pajamas, dig, writes such finery for youth. Why is there no Manus Jrs running about? Why no Jill Jrs? Why no little alan Mendelson Pinkawaters or perhaps a Walter Galt Jr? I have met you, my hep friend, have submitted work to you, admire and respect you, now this my great guru of the jelly donut I must know….for sooth whyfore hast thou not sprung forth fruit from thy loins? in short… why dontcha got a kid? Youd be the perfect papa being such a kid yourself.