Sir:
# My full name is an anagram of Dharma-Born Terrorfest. Should I be concerned?
# I used a copy of Night of the Living Shark to prop up a table leg. Was this unethical?
# Not particularly.
# I can't think of anything better to do with it.
[Not that I am not responsible for some equally horrid things, but the book you mention has practically nothing to do with me]
I am torn. I made the decision years ago to keep my own name when I get married. This way, I can one day have a child named Kevin Shapiro. (although I do not intend to orphan him.) My boyfriend says he wants me to have his last name when we get around to getting married. He doesn’t understand the importance of the Kevin Shapiro legacy. Have you got any advice about what I should do? It’s bad enough that his name is Boris and I have to deal with the Boris and Natasha stigma for the rest of my life…aren’t I putting up with enough? Please advise.
Perfectly simple. You hyphenate: Natasha Shapiro-McGurk (or whatever). Or, you can alternate last names, Shaprio one month, McGurk the next. Or give your child Shapiro as a middle name. Would that all problems were so easy to solve--and involved such delightful monickers. Best wishes to Boris.
Daniel Pinkwater:
I noticed that in both Lizard Music and The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death, you had a character who was an old black guy with a performing chicken under his hat. Have you personally met this kind of guy?
Frequently. But not lately. Others remember him also. And I have his photograph.
Hi! I’m Ann Weber, a psychology professor in at UNC at Asheville, and I listen to you any chance I get on WCQS, our NPR affiliate in Asheville, NC.
On Chinwag Theater this morning (Sun Mar 5th) you commented on ordering two near-dead anole lizards (“American chameleons”) from a supply house when you were a kid. That’s how my own love for reptiles began, very similarly, and I wanted to tell you the story briefly. Probably in 1961 when I was 9, my younger brothers and I were fascinated by a book by Evelyn Sibley Lampman titled RUSTY’S SPACE SHIP (it’s out of print but I found a copy through a book search service, and I love it, and you would too!). The hero is a big bipedal lizard named Tiphia, from the planet Eopee in Andromeda Galaxy; Tiphia helps Rusty and his sister get their soapbox spaceship off the ground and onto other planets, and eventually uses their help to get home to Eopee. We wanted a lizard named Tiphia, and we found a tiny, TINY ad in the back of a “Field and Stream” magazine my Dad had, offering four “chameleons” for $1! We pooled out measly resources and sent away for them. About a month later, long after we’d given up, an odd package arrived in the mail. It was a small cylinder wrapped in brown paper, addressed to me; the return address was a biological supply house in New Orleans. We opened it to find a beer can, of all things, stuffed with excelsior. We dumped the stuffing onto the kitchen table, and there among the shredded paper and wood, were several mealworms, alive and dead, and four limp, barely alive chameleons! We named them Tiphia, George (after a talking stegosaurus in anothe Evelyn Sibley Lampman book–THE SHY STEGOSAURUS OF CRICKET CREEK, another book you’d love; George loved bananas in the book), Cammy, and Fella. They all lived, not real long in adult time, but many months and longer in kid time, a satisfying time to watch and learn. We had already prepared a lush terrarium for their home and read up on them, so we knew we could buy mealworms at a pet store to feed them. We also became very adept at catching live flies in mid-buzz, and releasing them in the screen-covered terrarium; the lizards LOVED that meal, they bobbed their heads and then flicked their tongues, and after swallowing, they turned a blue-green shade that meant “happy.”
We were there when each of them died, and one of the most striking memories I have is that, sad as I was when each one died, I noticed they turned blue-green “happy” in death. This convinced me there IS a Reptile Heaven (a place some of my ex-boyfriends should only dream of going when their existence here is ended–a wisecrack I admit is unfair to real reptiles!), and comforted me in my sadness.
Thanks for sharing your story of real childhood lizard love. I’m really enjoying every installment of Lizard Music. Best to you and yours.
Oh, my husband and I have one dog and six cats; we are seriously bi-petual. Your well-known love of dogs is another fact that increases my warmth toward you and your work. Write, talk, thrive, and enjoy!
Thanks for the pleasure and wit you give your listeners.
Your fan,
Ann
Ok, Ann Weber...you alluded to my chameleon story, and told yours. Here's mine, Part II: When I was writing Lizard Music, the publishers gave me cause to go on strike, stop writing the book, and consider directing my energies to developing my dog-training business, and forgetting about writing altogether. One day, I was sweeping up in the puppy school, (in Hoboken, NJ), and there was a little green anole! I scooped him up, punched holes in a jar lid, and found a kid who wanted him. Curious, finding a southern lizard in a northern urban setting, in the middle of winter! A few days later, I found another, larger, more aggessive anole. This one I set up in a little terrarium, and got some equipment and a chameleon book, (yep, he was one, for sure), at the pet shop. He kept eyeing me and inflating his throat pouch. Made me nervous. I got the hint. He went to live in a classroom, and I went back to writing the book. The lizard sightings stopped. Jill swears she had not planted lizards to get me to go back to work.
Thanks for writing from beautiful NC, where the anoles come from.
Daniel, sir, I was delighted by the review of the Bears’race to Fitchburg. After badgering my bookseller and my library about a book named as a Trip to Pittsburgh, I realized that my handy PC might have something less frustrating. And,lo, out of the box comes the answer. What joy! This does nothing for your royalties but all in due course. At the moment, thank you for this and other earlier revelations of life on the banks of the Hudson. Your accounts of the current scene are appreciated by this former resident of Sleepy Hollow,long since moved to Puget Sound.
We have in nearby Mountlake Terrace, in front of the library, a most wonderful and fascinating nearly full size bronze sculpture of a little girl in pigtails riding on the back of a friendly bear followed by two cubs. The artist is Georgia Gerber,also a Washington State resident. Had I a scanner I would send you a copy of my photo of the piece. What a wonderful journey it suggests!
Thank you again–
George Rappole
I get a fantastic kick out of finding really good children's books, and discussing them on the air with Scott Simon once a month. The books I pick represent a fairly tiny fraction of what I see, much of which is utter crap. If we do this for a long long time, the business-heads may notice that books we feature tend to sell lots of copies. So far, they're becoming aware that books I talk about have good sales, but they seem to believe that I have some kind of magic grease in my perspiration, and if I would rub their usual products with my palms, sales would improve for those too. Bless their hearts, I've been doing business with them for about 30 years.
Mr. Pinkwater,
I have just read 5 Novels and I must say, it was incredible. I just can’t get enough of “The SnarkOut Boys” and “The Last Guru”. The level of details and clarity is astonishing, and it sort of pulled me in, and made me imagine the whole scene. My only complaint is that I cannot find any more of your books! Well, anyway, keep up the good work, OK?
Austin Hagerman, 13
Nice writing, Austin. There's another fat bind-up like 5 NOVELS scheduled. Meanwhile, you might want to try THE EDUCATION OF ROBERT NIFKIN--a relatively overlooked book, maybe because no giant talking worms or spacemen in it. Then there is the classic LIZARD MUSIC, available in a cheap paperback. Try the library, and amazon.com.
Dear Mr. Pinkwater,
How come all your books are out of print? Your publishers have terrible taste. A friend of mine and I acted just like the Dada Ducks when we were teenagers. I sent her a bunch of your books (the ones in print), and she was cheered enormously. She reminds me of Rat. She has a (second) brain tumor, and I’ve got to find a copy of Young Adults for her so that she can read about the Dada boys getting into Zen and going to Collitch. She can’t just die without having read it. And I’m going to either commit a crime or have an aneurism if I can’t get my hands on a copy of The SnarkOut Boys and the Baconburg Horror. You write the best Dada poetry.
Is there any way that we could have a list of your books broken down into picture books and novels? Sometimes, it’s hard to tell what is what. Not that I have anything against the Hoboken Chicken Emergency, mind.
Also, how difficult is it to find tapes of your radio commentary? My giant dog ate the one I had with the story of your father and his parrot. Tell NPR that I said they must compile the stuff and sell it online. I’m interested to hear about these radio readings. I never knew you did that. I’ll have to look into it.
Sorry to rant and rave. I just got the Worms of Kukumlima for my birthday (another book I seriously considered stealing from the library). I grew up in Los Angeles, and I can assure you that there really isn’t any such place.
It's not just _my_ publishers that have terrible taste. I'd better tell you the following right away:
5 NOVELS, (Farrar, Straus and Gruesome) $10 and change at Amazon:
The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death; Alan Mendelsohn, the Boy from Mars; The Last Guru; Slaves of Spiegel; Young Adult Novel
4 FANTASTIC NOVELS (to be published this summer by Simon and Schuster) $10.00!: The Snarkout Boys and the Baconburg Horror; Borgel; Yoborgle, Mystery Monster of Lake Ontario; The Worms of Kukumlima.
Somewhere around this site you will find URLs for Alibris, and Cattermole 20th century Children's books.
Tell your friend not to die at all. I will write more books.
Mr. Pinkwater,
First I want to tell you how much I have enjoyed your commentaries and humorous segments on NPR over the years. Second I want to beg advice from you. I am a commercial artist who has done everthing from being an art director for a TV station to owning a small outstandingly unsuccessful sign company.
Many years ago I began a children’s book which I never finished. I submitted the drawings I did get finished for consideration along with the story line to a major childrens publisher and received a very complementary letter. I guess I simply didn’t know how to properly submit the material. The artwork and story line have been stored for many years while life and obligations took my attention. Recently while pulling together my portfolio for a job search I pulled them out of storage and decided to complete the project. I would like to ask you for souces of information about proper presentation to a publisher. Also, where does one find information about payment structure for a children’s book. How many books might a person be able to place on the market at any one time. I don’t have many answers to the most basic questions a person needs to persue the field.
Any information you might take the time to forward to me would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you soon
I have had things published on the 20th submission. If you look at a manual like _Writer's Market_ available in any library, you will find suggestions about how to submit. I would ignore any admonition not to send the same book out to multiple publishers. If you send it to 10, and 1 reads it, you're doing well. It's a mistake to think that a publisher will accept or reject your project based on its merits. Their reasons are dark and incomprehensible, and not worth bothering about. Think of it as a lottery.
Dear Oh Great One,
Brendan here again. Thank you for answering my questions. Now I’ll answer yours.
But first I need to say some STUFF.
1. My mom wrote the question about the cigars — without my permission. I am glad you stopped smoking, and I don’t smoke, myself. I don’t plan to, either
2. I think Dav Pilkey knows how to spell his name. But in any case spelling doesn’t count for great writers.
Now, to answer the burning question. Whose books do I like best? Daniel Pinkwater or Dav Pilkey?
And the answer is …….. BOTH. For my book reports, I liked Fat Guys from Space best.
Spelling counts.
Dear Mr. Pinkwater,
I listened to your animated review of a childrens book on NPR’s Weekend Edition on 2/26. It was about two traveling bears, one who goes by train, the other by foot. There was a quote from Thoreau that summed up the moral of the book. Something about earning the 90 cents and taking the train, versus just walking it and not having to work for the money but enjoying the experience. I think it was called, “Henry’s (or Harry’s) Hike to Fitchfield” but I cannot locate it at my bookstore, or the NPR homepage, or Amazon.com. I want to get it for my daughter. Could you please tell me the title and author’s name?
Thanks,
Fred Michel
Wooster, Ohio (home of the continuous reading of Homer’s Odyssey)
It's HENRY HIKES TO FITCHBURG, by D.B.Johnson, published by Houghton Mifflin. If you go over to amazon.com, (where it's discounted to something like $10.60!), you can see the cover. There's even better art inside. It's one nice book!
-- PS Continuous, like 365 days a year, 24 hours a day?
Wow.
Dear Daniel,
My wife and I are expecting our first child- a boy-in July. I am bibliophile to the nth. degree and I hope that my son will follow my lead. To that end, I am going to read to the kid like crazy. (I’m still trying to think of some light fare to read to the child in the delivery room.) Can you provide me with your Top 20 recommendations in children’s books? My order for “Henry Hikes to Fitchburg” was placed this morning.
I hope you are still enjoying your new Volkswagon Beetle.
Yours truly,
Jay Martin
Top 20 children's books. You can hardly go wrong with Pinkwater, you know. I am the very best there is. Seems immodest, and in my role as radio kiddie book commentator it would be unseemly and give the impression of corruption to say it--but it's a fact. Stick with me, and your kid will grow up to be a classy individual. (There's proof of this walking around. I met with a big bunch of college students recently--fans of mine--and they were an impressive lot. I take full credit).
A group of friends and I have a government-approved opportunity to close off a section of a main street in our home town and perform in front of a large group of people, so long as our performance has a “No Smoking” theme.
Our plan was to wear paper bags over our heads and run around frantically for five minutes, spraying each other with spritzer bottles and shouting “Cancer! Cancer!” Perhaps we will even decorate our paper bags with beutiful pictures of various sea mammals and farm equipment. My question for you is: would this endevour be approved by the Wild Dada Ducks? Could we be inducted as official members?
Pineapples are good.
sincerely,
Dan “The Grand PooF” McDermott
The Wild Dada Ducks are fictional ducks, as you know, so you are wise to seek their fictional opinion. Speaking for myself, your projected ceremony may be just a teensy bit...rational? If somehow you could make it clear that it is just as bad to smoke scallions as tobacco you would be performing a service for all of mankind.
Dear Daniel Pinkwater:
I always enjoy your segments on Weekend Edition and the other times i hear you on NPR. Frequently a song is played at the end ot the segment with words about ” The day I read a book.”
Can you please tell me where I might get a copy of the entire song. I would prefer a recording but would settle for finding the lyrics.
Thanks,
Richard Cottingham
It's the great Jimmy Durante, and I believe the song is on a CD, because Weekend Edition Saturday had no trouble finding it. You can ask them: wesat@npr.org and you might mention that you like what I do as well as the song. If you do, of course. Like it. What I do. On the program. You could mention it.
Dear Mr. Pinkwater,
About 5 years ago I took a job at a local bookstore to learn all that I could about children’s literature. I was working part time at night for several years. My store manager fed my interest in children’s books and encouraged my enthusiasm so much that I decided to give up my Graphic Design career and pursue full time work with children’s books and children.
I found a job as a Library Assistant at North Regional Public Library in Raleigh, NC. They were wonderful. They taught me how to read out loud to children, how books are organized in the library, and how to best serve the public in a Library atmosphere. It was a dream job. Unfortunately, I had to leave it when my husband was transferred to Atlanta.
I felt fortunate to secure a position as department head of the children’s department at the local Barnes & Noble. This is where my tale turns. My enthusiasm for children’s books fell on deaf ears. I was often given the impression that what I had spent so much time learning was of little value or importance. In fact, they kept wanting to promote me into the next level of management and out of the children’s department. It was a constant struggle to get it through to them that I was there because of my love for children’s books.
My husband was transferred yet again to Indianapolis, and I moved to the local Barnes & Noble here. I was dismayed to find out that they could have cared less that I knew anything about the Children’s genre. In fact, the store manager often chased me out of the department when I would try to go back there.
I gave the library another chance. It turns out that there is absolutely no way that I could ever work with children as a library employee in Indy without a Masters degree. My past experience means nothing here without another 32 expensive hours of education. Going back to school isn’t an option for me right now. I felt like the world of children’s books had shut a door in front of me, and wouldn’t let me in. I love working with children and the books they read, but the enthusiasm I had once felt was slowly squashed. I am now going back to graphic design at a local history museum.
Forgive this long e-mail, but I am getting to my point now. I have a habit of getting up every Saturday morning to listen to Scott Simon on NPR. I am delighted every time that you are on. My favorite segment on Weekend Edition is when you read with Scott Simon. Your enthusiasm reminded me that I am not alone. You have opened that shut door and invited me in, but it leads to a different room than I thought. I may not have the chance to work with the public in a bookstore or library, but I can participate in the world of children’s books in other ways. Listening to you has inspired me to try my hand at writing and illustrating my own book. Thank you.
Brenda Nemeth
Do not be discouraged by ignorance and indifference. There are some people in our society who are estranged from their own child-selves, and actually have a kind of contempt for children. This contempt can extend to books for children--which, rationally, have to be seen as the most important books there are. Oddly, you are as likely to encounter people like this in bookstores, libraries...and children's publishing, as anywhere else. They do not signify. Good luck with your writing/illustrating project. And have fun!
Daniel,
We love your books, we love Chinwag theatre (although the children frequently muse, “I think I’m not sure what’s going on right now…”) and we favor the adoption of the Pinkwater standard for auto and airplane design.
We are also library people and appreciate your firm advocation for research by students.
The Big Orange Splot is a particularly brilliant work and one of our favorite birthday presents for young minds. Juvenile minds get 5 Novels. Mature minds also get the Big Orange Splot. Where oh where is Blue Moose? I have had out-of-print searches done, to no avail. We have the original story in the great compendium of world children’s lit, but the sequels cannot be had anywhere. Your out-of-printness is extremely frustrating to your loyal fans.
Thank you. Keep up the weird and wonderful work.
the Helmer family
If you think my out-of-printness is frustrating to fans.... So, Blue Moose is out of print? I will look into this. I don't want to frighten anyone, but it's possible that publishing is the harbinger of things to come for all American industries...like the canary taken down into the mine, it's frail and feeble and will show symptoms (like death) first. It was in print for around 25 years, and has been anthologized all over the place, and printed in foreign countries. Used copies of Blue Moose, Return of the Moose, and The Moosepire ought to be findable. I am thinking of releasing one Chinwag Theater CD in the next year. The moose could be it. I will discuss it with my colleagues.
