Joseph

December 12, 2001

Hi Pinkwater. My name is Joseph. I like your books a lot. They are good. I’m astonishingly bright. And terribly literate. Currently, I’m experimenting with bluntness. And sentence fragments. What do you think?

Yeh, I didn’t like it much either. I’ll try it all over again. Hi, Pinkwater. My name is Joseph. I’m 16 years old, astonishingly bright, terribly literate, and fashionably dressed. I live in Madison, Wisconsin. I don’t want it to snow, because once it snows, my mom is going to make me stop driving, and I like driving. Your books are extremely good. I’ve read most of your heftier ones (Alan Mendelsohn, Snarkout Boys, Robert Nifkin, Fishwhistle, Days/Nights) several times. My copy of 5 Novels is bent and stained. I wish it came in hardback. My friend Sam thinks I stole it from him. I didn’t. He doesn’t like Young Adult Novel. I do. I’m thinking that after I graduate from MIT (or mebbe Columbia. Any advice there?) I might become a long haul trucker and dictate childrens books. I’ve read most of your picture books too, but I’ve stopped rereading them obsessively because of the strage looks I get from people in the library check-out line. Not that I mind strange looks, particularly. If I minded strange looks, I wouldn’t stop people in the halls and ask them how they pronounce ‘bagel’ now would I? Did you know that some people pronounce bagel ‘bag-al’? It’s sickening. But anyway, back to how good your books are. I’m currently working on a term research paper for my Advanced Writing class about how children value your books for their “engrossing environments, imaginative storylines and outrageous characters” and teenagers and adults respect them for their “subtle and adept treatment of serious issues.” Those quotes are from my thesis sentence, which we are required to include at the beginning of the paper regardless of whether or not it’s part of the actual paper. I’m doing extremely well in that class. My teacher says he’s never seen a Junior do so well in his class. I’m mindful at all times of your advice to never listen to anything a creative writing teacher tells you, good or bad. I’m going to cook myself a steak now. It’s defrosting now. Then I’ll broil it and eat it. Anyway, I was planning on driving down to Chicago to give a speech at Newberry Park (when I looked it up on the Internet, all the sites referred to it as Washington Square Park. Why the inconsistency?) but apparently nobody does that anymore, and there wouldn’t be any beatniks to listen. I think I may do it anyways. Plus, I want to go to that hamburger joint, the one with the grease stalactites on the ceiling. Anyway, I had fun writing this to you. It was a useful distraction from writing a paper about you. I’ll think I’ll do it again sometime. Next time I’ll go into greater detail about what makes your books so great. Give you something to look forward to.

It would mean a lot if you could write something devastatingly witty in your response.

Mark Collien

December 8, 2001

Mr.Pinkwater

I was introduced to your books by looking for something to read and I found 5 novels and read The Avacado of Death. In short I loved it. Later I got 4 Novels and imediatly headed for Snarkout Boys. I started looking for Snarkout Boys and was extremly dissapointed when I found none. So make somemore Snarkout Boys.

Susan Branch

December 7, 2001

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

I met you many years ago when you visited the Worthington Public Library, outside of Columbus, Ohio. Is there anywhere that some really big fans can buy copies of the Norb collection? My letters to MU go unanswered (I won’t make any jokes about Atlantis, either).

Any help anyone can give me would be very appreciated.

Ben Malisow

December 4, 2001

A long time ago, during my formative years, you emotionally scarred me with such tomes as “Lizard Music” and Fat Men From Mars.” I came to expect that all authors would have to reach the nadir of disturbing creativity demonstrated by “The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death,” and I was to learn, to my abhorrent dismay, that most are nowhere near as concerned with this level of performance. Damn them.

Anyway, I hadn’t read your stuff for some time, hearing an NPR commentary/story now and then, when I ran across the WonderWorks video of “Hoboken Chicken Emergency.” I promptly purchased said tape and inflicted it on my fiance. She is now a hopeless Pinkwater junkie, which leads to no little consternation on my part. You have damaged me again, Pinkwater!

Thanks.

Joseph Baptist

December 2, 2001

I am a 33yo USAF Security Policeman (probably not your typical demographic) currently on convalescent leave suffering from Ramsay Hunt syndrome. My illness makes it difficult to concentrate on reading, tv, or work for prolonged periods of time, and has kept me trapped inside the house. Your recent work “Uncle Boris in the Yukon” has provided me with many wonderful (and pain free) moments. I have been able to digest it, a chapter or two at a time, between naps and fits of confusion. My dog (a precious Jack Russell well suited to her role as lap dog and nurse) has also enjoyed the book with me.

I have long been a fan, since Alan Mendelson, the Snarkout Boys, and the Wild Dada Ducks helped me through my own “weird” adolescence. I have had great joy in sharing books like “Tooth Gnasher Superflash” and “The Blue Moose” with classrooms where I have volunteered.

I think of you often when I experience a hole in the wall eatery of the proper style to match those your characters frequent, and have always enjoyed you when I hear you on NPR (with Click and Clack, you will keep that network alive!).

Although we’ve never met in person, I hope that you don’t mind that I consider you a friend, as well as a role model (without putting any pressure on you). I think you are a literary treasure, and hope to be able to meet you if you ever get out this way (Berkeley, CA). Cody’s is a large independent bookseller here that has always done a good job of keeping you (and other quality authors) in stock (and they’re book people, not just businessmen). Once again, thanks for some belly laughs and happy tears, and I wish you and Jill (and the dogs) the season’s best.

Your loyal reader, and friend,

Joe Baptist

Liz S

December 1, 2001

Hello;

Within the last year I heard you review a (childrens) book that I thought had a poem or name related to crocodile tears….I’m not coming up with the title in my searches and thought you might be able to help. Thanks.

Stephen Cyester

November 26, 2001

Dear Person,

Perhaps 10 years ago, I heard DP on NPR reading from a book he wrote about language and word origins. Neat and funny histories. I specifically remember him relating the origin of “hearth” and how people gathered around the fireplace in ancient France … or something. I would love to know the book in question, having neither the $ or the interest at the time to acquire the book. Can you help with the title (ISBN would be immensely helpful).

James Craig

November 25, 2001

My class has just completed The Hoboken Chicken Emergency.

Our question is about the game that the children are playing toward the end of the novel…we want some info about it. Origin, how to play, is it like any games we play…?

Wwe are grateful for any information pertaining to it and other relevant info about the story and the city of Hoboken.

Grade 5

Miramichi NB

Canada

George Lynes II

November 22, 2001

Dear Daniel (or whomever),

We went to Bard together, lo these many years ago. I doubt that you remember me–I was never as “memorable” as the renown Manus Pinkwater–but perhaps you remember my [then] girlfriend, Jane Rady, who has been my wife for 33+ years. I enjoy your contributions on NPR though I must confess Click and Clack, the tappet brothers, really float my boat. Happy Thanksgiving!

John Kaputa

November 19, 2001

Oh Great One,

Today I was listening to The Beat over KUOW my local NPR station, and heard the following: (Which I then went to their website and lifted.)

“…The Hoboken Chicken Emergency, a musical comedy written by Chad Henry, adapted from a book by NPR commentator Daniel Pinkwater, and directed and produced by Seattle Children’s Theater Artistic Director Linda Hartzell. Hoboken Chicken Emergency was first presented by SCT more than a decade ago, but Hartzell has recast the play for this holiday season, featuring at least one of the original actors.”

My question to you is did you get anything out of the original staging and will you be getting anything out of this one, other than bad publicity from adult critics if the adapter blows it. Of course, as it is for children, most of them will know the book by heart, and will probably hoot up a storm if or when the play varies from your book, so that should be a plus.

I won’t wish you a belated happy birthday, other than to congratulation you for having made it past another one. In a year-and-a-half, you will have caught up to me, except I plan on maintaining my lead, the Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.

An ardent fan wishing you well,

John Andrew Kaputa

Bremerton WA

Scot Yount

November 18, 2001

Hi,

Several years ago, maybe 1988, I remember 7 (I think) wonderful pieces that aired on NPR called the Dog Days of Summer. The stories were about Jacque and Arnold among others. “Arnold” was a dog and story I have thought about thousands of times because at the time I had two 1 year old Alaska Malamutes, and was living in a cabin in Fairbanks where they were born and raised by me. People I know who heard the Arnold story driving home had to pull over and cry. It was so powerful. I now live in Boston (I am a television reporter) and yesterday, I had to put the second of my two, Elias, to sleep. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I just can’t believe he is gone. 14 years is great for a 120 lb Malamute, and he was very special. He and his brother who died two years ago of cancer were left in a bag in a dumpster at 38 below zero Christmas eve 1987. I remember bits of the Arnold story like yesterday, “He would pull you up a steep hill if you were tired… the wrong stuff in the syringe…Arnold I release you..the vet and I went outside and cried for a quarter of an hour.” In Jacque’s story when talking about the pound…”the dogs that don’t get adopted die, and they know it.”

Now all these years later…I wonder where I might find those recordings. Can you help, Daniel Pinkwater? Wrangell and Elias were my best buddies ever. I grew up and became a man in Alaska and they were my last connection.

John Gronert

November 17, 2001

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

I have been a big fan of yours for quite some time. I have heard you on NPR and read The Blue Moose and The Return of the BlueMoose,GREAT ,FANTASTIC, YAHOO!!!!!!

I teach instrumental music at the S.E. Shull School in Perth Amboy N.J. I always try to add a bit of Dan Pinkwater humor to all of my music lessons!!!! Each year we have authors visit to read,tell stories,draw pictures etc.

I have been given permission by our Reading Director to invite you to our school.It would be great to have you as our special guest. How much would it cost to have you come to Perth Amboy for a day or two? How far in advance do we need to book you. We were thinking about the 2002-2003 school year.

I realize that Perth Amboy is not Hoboken N.J. It is however, an interesting place to visit. The kids in our school(1,400 – 5th and 6th graders) have a special energy that I find most pleasing. Also we may not be able to provide Clam Chowder and Ginger Bread. We would be able to provide in addition to your fee, THE BEST SAUSAGE and PEPPER PIZZA in N.J. There is also the option of wonderful Shrimp in garlic sauce with yellow rice and thin cut Spanish potatoes.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Richard McAdams

November 16, 2001

Everyone in my family has long been a fan of your Blue Moose tales–the words “hot moose love” always make us chuckle. Earlier this fall, we heard a wonderful storyteller, Willie Claflin, who, via a small moose puppet (though I am sure there are many fans of his who deny that the moose isn’t real), told the funniest moose tales this side of your Blue Moose. Said moose claims to be the sole teller of moose tales. Is there any chance that the Blue Moose will be returning from Maine? Or that these two moose might get together?

Nina Rawson

November 8, 2001

I have a question that I hope you can answer. Someone on a listserv I am on stated:

“I’ve just learned that in Daniel Pinkwater’s* new book, “Uncle Boris in the Yukon”, he talks about his uncle emigrating from the Ukraine to Alaska, and setting up a successful business based on making caribou pastrami! I therefore withdraw my guilty plea on the charge of ignorance about the tastiness of northern ungulates, while continuing to plead nolo contendere on the charge of insensitivity.”

Can you please let me know where this (of Pinkwater’s) story came from? Is it true? I personally do not think so. I once answered this person (on the listserv) that there was no such item as caribou pastrami. I have eaten caribou and it does not taste like pastrami. I would love to get the facts and present it to the listserv.

Thanks for all your help on this matter, Looking forward to your answer

Dick Nordrum

November 7, 2001

Hi Daniel,

I was introduced to your wonderful books by Mel Gilden who regards you most highly. Since then, my family has enjoyed many a great read and delightful laughter thanks to your clever imagination which we are grateful you share with us. I am especially looking forward to Fat Camp Commandos Go West. Your books have been ideal gifts to our friend’s children. Thanks for them all.

I just found out that Kitty Felde of KPCC in Pasadena is scheduled to interview you by phone next week (sorry to hear about your knee). I want to tell Mel Gilden about that interview; but, I haven’t found out what day it is scheduled. Of course, I will ask Kitty; but, in case she doesn’t get back to me, would you mind saying when it is scheduled, please?

By the way, I also weigh in at about 400 and if I shaved my moustache might be mistaken for you. So, I am keeping the moustache to avoid confusion. You actually look much younger than I do. Must be what you write.

Looking forward to hearing you on NPR.