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The Mad Librarian

Post #1615 – 20030301

March 1, 2003

We at Clovis Regional Branch of the Fresno County Library just got paperback copies of both fat men from space and Lizard music. They were on the new book stand for 3 minutes before kids came to check them out. I tell you…the hombre is popular. Now one question…why has Newberry and Caldecott passed you over so many times?

Daniel replies:

Because there are very few Mad Librarians. I've been told that if I praise a book on the radio it sells more copies than if it had gotten a Newberry or a Caldecott--so the prize I would hope for is a Pinkwater.



The Mad Librarian

Post #1614 – 20030218

February 18, 2003

This is again the Mad Librarian.

I cooked some chicken this weekend and wondered if you knew that fres squeezed orange juice mixed with honey makes a wonderful glaze? Also I am working out like a mad dog right now (no offense to dogs) in order to drop many unwanted pounds. I am dieting and trying hard to get into some decent shape. I just think that 210 and 5’11 doesnt work well for me. Then again you look terrific the way you are so it clearly is not a universal case where being large is bad, just that in my case being large is not good for me.

I am considering dating services and wondered if you had any advice on these types of services.

The Mad Librarian

Daniel replies:

210 and 5'11"" could describe a whole variety of body types and conditions. Although, it's true, I do look terrific--I look forward to the spring when I can exercise outdoors, and improve that which, to the average person, appears already perfect. Dating service advice: Use the cheapest, and exaggerate in your favor.



Craig Brozek

Post #1613 – 20030217

February 17, 2003

Hello Daniel, I live in the Buffalo Metro area and heard your comments a couple few weeks ago on WBFO 88 FM. You were talking about your dad coming from Warsaw and the thing you called “schaaf”. Well indeed it is “schaaf” or more properly “szczaw” in polish. It is sorrell in english. My mom and grandma made a creamy >soup from this plant which grew in our garden. It was quite tasty but required an acquired taste..

The story you told brought to mind the stories my grandma told me as a kid growing up in North Tonawanda, NY near Buffalo. She was from Warsaw and told me of these strange people called jews. We had very few in town. The folks in the stories in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s were what I later learned was the Hassidic jewish sect which was prevalent in Poland at that time. I only learned the whole story later from Public TV. A light really came on when I saw the type of dress etc. We had no idea about this type of lifestyle. I thought these were the ramblings of an old polish lady.

Well, we maintain our Polish heritage and culture wherever possible. N. Tonawanda and well and Buffalo is a hub of Polonia. You would be well advised to come and experience this first hand. We eat well and drink and most have the blubber belly syndrome.

I guess the bottom line is that when your a “polack” your are stubbornly loyal to what you know and like. I hope you continue your radio commentaries. I do enjoy them.

Sincerely yours and fellow countryman,

Craig Brozek

PS: Craig is not Polish and is pronounced by my relatives back in Poland as sraaeeg which is really strange and sounds like “dog do” with a “g”.

PSS: recipe

Easy Sorrel Soup

Shred 1/4 pound sorrell leves that are well washed, with stem and center ribs removed. Cook in 1 tablespoon of sweet butter for a few minutes until soft. Add 2 cups chicken broth and simmer for 15 minutes. At serving time, beat 3 egg yolks with 1/2 cup of cream and add to the hot soup, being careful not to let it boil. Season with salt and freshly ground white peper to taste and serve immediately.

Daniel replies:

They may have been Hassidic, and maybe not. My grandfather, (see photo), was fitted out with the traditional beard, but was not a member. I suspect there were a lot of gradations when Jews flourished in central and eastern Europe. My father loved Warsaw, and dreamed about it all his life.



Watch Hawker

Post #1612 – 20030217

February 17, 2003

$2,000,000 for my Casio twin graph. I have worn it for the last 10 years plus. No charge for the special antique patina applied. The second hand bluring is because my scanner works at 1/2 to 1/10 speed. The scanner goes for much more than the watch.

Daniel replies:

I'm sure visitors to the forum will be excited to see the picture of your plastic stopwatch, and I'm also sure you'll get your $2,000,000. I have a red plastic Scripto pencil of which I may post an image, should I need cash for a new house or something of the kind.



Anonymous Complainer

Post #1611 – 20030215

February 15, 2003

These Kevin Shapiro stories suck. Kevin’s a pathetic wenie, whiner, and general scum. He deserves to die, handled with flair by the Dadaists.

Daniel replies:

No argument from me.



Steve Ferg

Post #1610 – 20030211

February 11, 2003

I have searched the Web, and read the story of Dove’s criminal incompetence which caused the Borgel audiobook to be truncated. I understand, and accept.

But in this age of streaming audio, tape, CD, and who-knows-what-else technology (Space, Time, and The Other) it seems almost inconceivable that there is absolutely no way at all to hear a complete audio performance of Borgel. Is there ANY WAY AT ALL that it is possible to hear the whole thing?

— Steve Ferg

Daniel replies:

Ask a friend to read it to you? Run it through a text-to-speech program? Wait until there is a cheap home version of some speech-sampling software which would enable you to have the thing converted to audio in a voice undetectably idential to mine--or, better, John Gielgud's? Hold a marathon reading-aloud in which all comers could read a few pages, and tape the whole thing? Or, send me a certified check for 8 or 10 thousand dollars, and I will record the whole book on minidiscs for your personal enjoyment.



Shereese Carlisle

Post #1608 – 20030209

February 9, 2003

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

I just want to tell you that my children (ages 2, 5, and 10) absolutely, without a doubt, love your books! From a recommendation of a friend, I went to the library and just randomly grabbed two of your books–Aunt Lulu and Guys from Outer Space. We read them every night. My 5 year can actually recite the names of all of Aunt Lulu’s dogs (in order) every time their names pop up in the story.

I want to try my hand at writing children’s books (I used to draw comics as a young girl). And, you are very inspirational. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world.

Light and Laughter,

Shereese

Daniel replies:

Thank you! I hope you and the kids will read some of the 90+ others! And...I am writing more!



Jay Bennett

Post #1609 – 20030209

February 9, 2003

My son doesn’t read many Novels, but he reads and rereads the Five Novel compilation. Near as I can tell, some of your books are intended for young adults, and some are intended for children.

I intend to buy more books for him on the internet, but I can’t tell from the plot descriptions which books are intended for older children. Can you help me distinguish between them?

Daniel replies:

4 Fantastic Novels, (Simon and Schuster), is just like the 5 Novels collection your son likes, (only different novels, of course).

The Education of Robert Nifkin is also geared to older kids/young adults/everyone. --Ed.



Sue Anne Zollinger

Post #1607 – 20030205

February 5, 2003

Hi there,

I, too, heard your NPR story about teaching your dog to read commands and went right home and taught my dog the same… But showing off to some other grad students (we are all ethologists) we debated whether my dog had actually learned to differentiate these patterns (text on card) visually or if she is responding to some other subtle cues from the person holding the cards… a la Clever Hans (the counting horse of historical fame). Do you have a sense with Lulu about which it really is?

ps. just re-read the snarkout boys books and was inspired by Rat to make a t-shirt that says: “stereo is for sissies”

Daniel replies:

Well, the idea of teaching her to recognize block-printed words started with my observation that she was a careful TV watcher, and appeared to be able to sustain attention, and follow action on the screen. In particular I watched her observing a long shot of a running wolf, (her favorite kind of program, naturally), and saw her follow it as it diminished in size and disappeared from the picture in the upper left corner. I experimented briefly to ascertain whether she had interest in pictures on paper--(again, animal subjects appealed to her). Then I taught her to recognize printed commands.

She can now recognize, Sit, Down, Speak, Kiss (this is not a lick, but a light touching of the muzzle to my hand), Paw, and Quiet (this card has a drawing of a yellow plastic lemon juice container, with the word superimposed--the actual lemon juice, a training aid which she has tasted precisely once, has the word printed on it). In the past three weeks, with a new puppy in the house, I endeavored to give Lulu lots to think about and receive praise for, (to keep her in a good mood, and help her deal with the death of her companion, which remarkably preceded the arrival of the puppy by a day), by teaching her Right Paw and Left Paw, and to say her name, which she can do approximately, and understands that she will only get rewarded for a two-syllable expression, such as ""woo-woo"" which is close enough.

Lulu will _only_ work for rewards. I shave faux bacon treats into toothpick-size and then cut them in half. (It turns out that the size of treats is irrelivant, as long as the dog gets something).

Lulu seems to be able to read all sizes and styles of block printing. I have, on occasion, asked people to print commands on napkins, and show them to Lulu, with me out of her line of sight. Depending on who it is, and what sort of crumbs they offer, she does about as well as she does when I show her the cards, (maybe 80%--her errors are typical of the way this primitive sled dog responds to commands in general, anticipating, goofing, teasing, trying to initiate play, and combining behaviors, such as offering Left Paw, then Right Paw, and Speaking while lying Down). But that is just Lulu trying to wrest control. Other times she will be completely silly and merely clown.

I don't know for sure how much she is ""reading"" and how much she is reading off me. As I mentioned the past three weeks have been traumatic for Lulu with the death of the old yellow Lab, Maxine, and the appearance, (we had been on a very long waiting list), of a 9-week-old yellow Lab puppy who had washed out of guide dog training. Lulu has accepted the puppy and is even happy, but she was badly messed up when Maxine died. So we have had a lot of sessions, conversing, walking, playing, reading. The other night she turned up beside my desk, and we played the reading game without cards or spoken commands. She got five or six right in a row before I somehow broke concentration. I was doing my best not to tip her off with facial expressions or any changes in body language, and she was looking at the treat in my hand rather than my face, for example--but, of course, I can't say what subvocalization, olfactory elements, nearly-invisible muscle twitches, sounds of salivation, or--who can say?--brain waves she might have been picking up.

This is the best I can do at the moment. Possibly later you can just email Lulu.



Ian Stoba, Esteemed Emerg

Post #1606 – 20030203

February 3, 2003

Revered master of all things surreal,

Just this evening I found this link describing the science of patapsychology and CSICON, the Committee for the Surrealist Investigation of Claims of the Normal:

www.rawilson.com/csicon.shtml

I think the Dada boys would be proud.

Spork,

–Ian Stoba

Daniel replies:

If I remember correctly, Pataphysics is as far removed from Metaphysics as Metaphysics is from Physics--in one direction or another. So...Patapsychology would be as far removed from Metapsychology? What is Metapsychology? Is there such a subject? Do I know? No. Do you know? Possibly? Does it matter? Do I care? Does anybody?



Suzanne Kleid

Post #1605 – 20030131

January 31, 2003

Dear Daniel,

As you hopefully remember, I wrote you many letters about my adventures throughout my teenage years (mountaineering accidents, boarding school expulsions, serving drinks to norwegian businessmen) and received many gracious responses. I’m sad to hear Chinwag Theater was cancelled. I caught one episode that featured a story containing a magic chicken named Suzanne, which is, of course, a terrific name for a magic chicken.

Currently I live in San Francisco and work at a wonderful place in the mission district called the 826 Valencia Writing Project. We have a free after-school tutoring program for students age 7-18 and teaches workshops in things like short story writing, playwriting, comic books, standup comedy, and so on–all for free. Our most popular class is called Writing For Your Pet, where children write stories to entertain “pets who watch too much TV”. In addition to the classes and tutoring, 826 Valencia operates a small shop at the front of the building that sells pirate supplies (eyepatches, flags, peglegs, hooks, and the like.) The store is full of strange curiosities, hidden treasure, and trap doors. There’s also a saltwater fish tank starring a porcupine pufferfish named Karl, who is fed twice a day in front of an enthusiastic audience. This is an unbelievably fun place to spend time. If you (or any other forum readers) ever find yourself in San Francisco, please come visit. In the meantime, visit us on the web: www.826valencia.org . I have the honor of writing most of the entries in the Store Log.

In addition to stuff at 826, I am in college and writing lots of stories. I’m getting quite close to becoming a real legitimate author. Not bad for a kid who was falling off mountains and getting kicked out of boarding school six years ago.

-Suzanne

Daniel replies:

Another reader of whom I am proud! Visitors to this forum will note the spectatular quality of persons who choose to address themselves to DP. Modesty forbids me to continue in this vein.



The Mad Librarian

Post #1604 – 20030124

January 24, 2003

I just received an order of 20 steamed dumplings amd some ham-bao (or however it is spelled.) You may have 6 dumplings and 2 of the ham-bao (or however it is spelled). I am now a Fresno California Librarian for Children’s lit. (My friend you really madea big impression on me as a kid ya know.) Yours from my travels across the USA

Ben ben George

AKA The Mad Librarian

Daniel replies:

The big impression is all mine. You'd think more mad librarians would find this site.



John Purrington

Post #1603 – 20030124

January 24, 2003

How did Daniel teach Lulu how to read? He mentioned this last week on NPR.

Daniel replies:

It's important to find material that's interesting--then the learning takes care of itself.



Stefan Slojewski

Post #1602 – 20030123

January 23, 2003

Dear Daniel

I’m Stefan born in Poland and living in Sydney Australia.

Listening recent “All Things Considered” on NPR (it is re-played on Sydney ABC programme with one day delay) I was under impression that you have a strong connection with Poland. Your parents must have had cultivated very strong polish home traditions in US after emigration. Especially when you said that you remember Schaw soup (“like a seaweed”) and Borsch soup with a sour cream. I am also an emigrant from Poland in Australia and I can understand how strong those child memories are. Sometimes I thing that the taste of things are stronger then visual images of these experiences, which can blur with time. The harshness of those days and impact they left will never leave our memories. Only when you grow older then you realise how hard your parents struggled to provide for your education and every day needs.

Please continue your great job to prepare your young readers to meet more & more difficult world of the adults.

Daniel if you could write back to me about your memories in regards of your polish parent’s home traditions as I work on project how polish emigrants assimilated in a new environment. I will appreciate it greatly.

Looking forward to your response

Yours faithfully

Stefan Slojewski

Daniel replies:

Stefan, my father left Poland in 1922. I was born in 1941. By this time, he thought less about his hard life there, (and in the US when he first came), and more about strolling and cycling in various parks in Warsaw, and especially things he ate there. Towards the end of his life he made several trips back to assist a niece who had survived the war. He took me along once. He found a shoemaker there, who made what he considered the only proper kind of shoe, and he also brought back huge boxes of a lemon pastry just like he remembered from childhood. There's just a little of this in my book Uncle Boris in the Yukon, and more bits in Hoboken Fish & Chicago Whistle.



Kenneth Ott

Post #1601 – 20030120

January 20, 2003

Ok— loved the Sergeant Preston piece on NPR today—but come on can a dog read commands—sit, left paw,right paw?? Written on a 3 x 5 card?? Really? Where can I get transcript or essay or whatever of the Obit/tribute of the family dog on NPR –circa 1999 ? It was the most moving radio segment of my life. Please let me know! Published anywhere??

Daniel replies:

Yes, she can do it, but she is so wiggy and over-reactive that very few people beside myself have seen her read. Some say it's a trick and that I am somehow giving her subtle signals. Others say I am a witch. In fact, many dogs can read, but feel--perhaps rightly--that there simply isn't anything worth reading these days. The essay you mention is in Hoboken Fish and Chicago Whistle. It aired in 1988.



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