February 20, 2008

Post #2366 – 20080220

Dear Senor Plonkwanker, Sir:

Try not to cozzen me. Contumely and vernicious featherbedding will not serve, my good sir! We are on to you, Honkwafer. Let loose the Hounds of Hell, I say; unleash the dogs of war; unzip the Borzoi of Fecundity! This cavalier attitude of yourn cannot long prevail, not with the new sprinkler system we’ve installed, shiny new Japanese plastic piping it is. This is your last warning. Cease your infamous rodomontade and return our yearling.

Yrs. in hypothermia, Jack/Doc/&/Reggie

Daniel replies:

I attempted to render this message using the Google translator--however it does not yet have an Senile Glossolalia-to-English feature. I did, however, have better luck with my 1948 Captain Midnight Secret Squadron decoder badge. Readers in possession of that decrypting tool, and particularly those with an interest in Abnormal Psychology will find the text of interest. (I regret I can't post the plain-language version here, in deference to the sensibilities of the number of children and child-like adults who attend this forum.) Notwithstanding, it is always an honor to hear from such a distinguished short story-writer.