Stuart Monteath

August 1, 2007

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

I recently heard about your efforts to have a sandwich named after yourself. I am a childless white guy in my forties from the Southern US. Please rest assured that you have already made a lasting impression on me through your works. You will not be forgotten. In the future, anytime I make a new dish at my home (and I stop to think about it) I’ll call a “Pinkwater”.

Lovingly, Stuart

I'm sorry, can't allow that. It would only confuse serious gourmets to have more than one dish named after me. The Angelina's Pizza and Pasta ""Mr. Pinkwater"" panini is the only officially recognized honorific comestible.